Hosanna

I see the King of Glory
Coming on the clouds with fire
The whole Earth shakes, the Earth shakes
I see His love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing, the people sing

Hosanna, hosanna
Hosanna in the highest

I see a generation rising up to take their place
With selfless faith, with selfless faith
I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees, we're on our knees

This is all I want for my life right now....the last day revival that Scott lived and prayed for, and the return of our King. These are my heart's desires. Has it really been a week since he left us? I miss him a lot.

Thursday

It is very painful to blog right now, because there are too many hurts too deep to go into at the moment. Plus, I just don't seem to have ANY time to sit down and do so. Because of this, I am going to go back to the Thankfuls lists for awhile. That way, at least I am blogging something for the people who actually read this thing. :) And the Thankfuls lists help to look on the bright side of things.

1. Wonderful package that came yesterday with gifts for Hannah and a special gift for Daniel and I.
2. Tomorrow is Friday.
3. My baby girl will be 1 year old tomorrow!
4. Hannah's birthday bash is Saturday, and lots of special people are coming to celebrate this important day with us!
5. Scott's funeral-though painful-was also beautiful, spiritual, and refreshing.
6. God is doing something in me.....I know it, I feel it, I anticipate it.
7. I have PRECIOUS friends who have held me up during this painful week.
8. God has given me the gift of singing, and I feel so close to Him when I do that.
9. I have a wonderful husband.....I am praying that we have a chance to spend some "couple time" soon...I miss him.
10. Our church is fasting and praying in anticipation of "going to another level" in God. We can't wait for Him to pour out His spirit on us!

Our Hope Endures

You would think only so much can go wrong
Calamity only strikes once
And you assume that this one has suffered her share
Life will be kinder from here

Sometimes the sun stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky rains night after night
When will it clear
But our hope endures the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our hope is unchanged

How do we comprehend peace within pain
Our joy at a good man's wake
Walk a mile with a woman whose body is torn
With illness but she marches on

Sometimes the sun stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky rains night after night
When will it clear
But our hope endures the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our hope is unchanged

Emanuel, God is with us
El Shaddai, all sufficient
Emanuel, God is with us
El Shaddai, all sufficient
Emanuel, God is with us
El Shaddai, all sufficient

We never walk alone
This is our hope
Our hope endures, the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
let the earth quake
let the earth quake
let the earth quake
Our hope is unchanged

. Send "Our Hope Endures" Ringtone to your Cell .

Thinking Back

As I pray for the Harvells today, I am just thinking back on all the times they were there for me. All of the times that they "brought me up higher" spiritually speaking. When I was faltering, they were always there with a word of encouragement and a little something to show me that there was more to life than what I was living for at that moment. They are the type of Christians that we ALL are supposed to be. The kind of Christians that make other people want what we have. Even in their darkest hour, they still inspire me.

To Scott....thank you for all the times that your passion for Christ re-ignited a passion in me. Thank you for all the times that you spoke words of life into our youth group. Thank you for always following the Spirit in your ministry. Thank you for being a real, honest, true, passionate, longsuffering, compassionate follower of Christ. I love and miss you so much, and can't wait to see God gettin' His glory when all of this is over for you. I am standing in the gap for you, praying for you now when you can't pray for yourself. And thanks for all the times I know you have stood in the gap for me. You are a true disciple of Christ, and I am honored to call you my friend.

To Laura....you are the kind of woman, wife, and mother I strive every day to be. Your commitment to God and your family inspire me. Your steadfast faith and trust in God speak volumes to the rest of us. You are uncompromising, strong, and beautiful. I look forward to hearing you tell the story of victory when you are on the other side of this battle. I am praying for you as you have prayed for me so many times. Thank you for being a friend, confidante, and true example of what a Christian woman should be. You and Scott both are heroes in my eyes.

To Anslie....you have a spiritual beauty and anointing that far exceeds your years. The difference you made in my life is still being seen today. I pray that God will restore unto your family every moment that the devil has stolen through your Daddy's sickness. I am so proud of your strength, and the purpose that you live out each day as you bless the people around you with your sweet spirit.

I love you, Harvell family. I am standing with you.

Breath of Heaven

I have been a little slack on the blogging. This is partly because I took a little "Internet break".

This was partly because school started back this week, and I have been busy.
And it was partly because, I am struggling and wasn't sure what I wanted to write about.
But, then it happened. Yesterday. The breath of Heaven brushed my face in such a beautiful way, I cannot describe it to you. But, I will try. I was working yesterday....can't say where or what age or anything else because of the privacy issues with teachers/students. But I can tell you about this little person. We will call him "D". He is blind. At first, I was a little taken aback. I have never worked with a child who cannot see. As I watched him though, I realized that he was beautiful. I could feel his little heart and his spirit, and it blessed me so much. I had never worked with him before, but something in him responded to something in me....and he couldn't stay away from me. He would come up and take my hands and play with my fingers and my rings. He pulled my hands onto his chest and held them there and smiled.

I was singing a song with one of the other kids, and "D" came over and took my hand and smiled as I sang. Each time I would begin singing, he would find his way back to me....and hold my hand and listen. This may all seem inconsequential to you, but it changed something inside of me. I felt grateful. Grateful that my child has no physical difficulties, grateful that my life is what it is, and that even on my worst day-at least I can see the world around me. I don't have to "feel" my way to walk around, I can just see and walk! And grateful to work with children...to be able to meet this magnificent little person. Grateful to know that I am doing exactly what I should be going, working with children and being loved (and sometimes healed) by their little sweet souls!

Thank You, Lord for breathing life into me on a very difficult day. I needed that so much, I needed You. And You were there.

Commitments

I choose not to call them "resolutions", because those always get broken!

Commitments for 2010
Exercise.....notice I didn't put an amount of times per week to do this.....at this point, anything would be good!

Put laundry away when it comes out of the dryer. These seems silly, but OH the headaches it will save me from!!!

Make better food choices......this one is especially important because I have a little one watching me now....and starting to eat whatever I eat.

Pray and read the Word consistently every single day!

Continue to work on my "attitude of gratitude" and "taming my tongue".

That's all.....I didn't want to make too many.....harder to stick with it. These are all things that are very important to me and that I want to work on in the new year. I figured putting them on a public forum like this would help me remain motivated about doing these things. Happy 2010, everyone!

2009-A Year In Review

Although I am a very thankful person, I think I am going to put the "Thankfuls" lists aside for awhile, and just blog. When I can. ;) Today, I was thinking about the new year that is rapidly approaching. This of course, leads me to think about the year that is ending. What a year 2009 has been.

January brought us the sweetest gift EVER! On January 29th, our sweet Hannah Faith was born. She has changed my life in so many ways. I am a more giving, selfless, kind person than I have ever been before. I have become more aware of the importance of faith, family, and love than I ever was before. Having a child is the most wonderful gift from God (after the gift of salvation, of course). I highly recommend both to you.

February, life began to return to normal....well, our new normal. We had our first picture taken as a family at the youth Valentine's Banquet, and I couldn't stop staring at that photo. I was FINALLY a mommy and lovin' every minute of it. Hannah was also dedicated to the Lord that month. We acknowledged before our family and friends that she was given to us by God, and that we were grateful for that.

March was when we found out I wouldn't have a job to come back to the next school year. That was so painful, depressing, scary, and a million other bad adjectives that I cannot think of at the moment. I thank God and God alone that we have been able to survive throughout this nightmare. I look forward to finding out in 2010 what His greater purpose was for this horrendous event.

April brought Hannah's First Easter....it was wonderful to celebrate such a special day with our special girl. I tried to post a picture here, but it ended up at the top. I will figure this out one day!

May was my first Mother's Day as a mommy! Boy, did I celebrate it. I remembered the Mother's Day the year before and how down I was. I kept saying I am still not a Mommy. Little did I know at the time, but I was already pregnant with Hannah on Mother's Day! I should really trust God a little more, huh? Also in May, school got out. I worked some temporary jobs and soaked up the time with Hannah. I also cleaned out my classroom and cried my eyes out.

June, July.....more of the same......temp work and time with Hannah. We celebrated July 4th with the family. Another pic at the top. This was also when Daniel and I celebrated our 3 year wedding anniversary. He is so good to me, and I love him so much. I have enjoyed watching him become a daddy, and see how much he loves our daughter. It makes me love him even more! This was also the time that it started to seem like Hannah's first year was going by way too fast.

August....school started back, I was still working in a business office. The first day of school was a sad one for me. I wanted to be in my classroom, meeting my new students, and just being a teacher. I decided to begin substitute teaching a few weeks after school started, and that kept me busy through the rest of the year. September-working, etc.

October....Daniel's birthday, Hannah's first Halloween....fun fun! I also did a long-term sub job at Satilla Marsh during this time. I enjoyed that so much, I didn't want to see it end. We also went on our little "staycation" this month. We went and stayed on St. Simons with my dad, Dawn, and their little ones. We thoroughly enjoyed that time.

November.....my 29th birthday....we went to Jax....went shopping....went to Olive Garden!

Thanksgiving was also this month. I enjoyed seeing my family enjoy Hannah...and Thanksgiving always means good food! I also had so much to be thankful for.

December brought Christmas....all the shopping, preparation, wrapping, eating. We have had so much fun this year with Hannah's first Christmas....we didn't want to see it end. We are now preparing for her 1st birthday party, and I am so excited for it-but at the same time I want to cry! My baby isn't a baby anymore. She is becoming a big girl!!

I will say this for 2009...it has been the best and the worst year. With everything that has happened work/financial-wise, I am so glad that Hannah is here. She makes everything easier to cope with just by looking at her sweet little face. She has brought us such joy. Also, because of the work situation-I have had more time for my family and friends than I did before. That is a wonderful blessing. The biggest lesson I have learned this year is-stop and smell the roses. Enjoy your friends, your extended family, your spouse, and your children. These are the treasures you can enjoy on Earth and also take with you to Heaven.

I look forward to 2010 because God is in control. He has every one of my days in His hands, and He will carry me.

Tuesday

So, Christmas pretty much took up our weekend....it was great! That, and church on Sunday. My wonderful husband took me shopping in Darien for Christmas gifts he didn't have time/money to get before Christmas.





Hannah seemed to be getting rapidly worse with her cold, so I took her to the doctor yesterday. Our good ole Dr. G told me that she has RSV. So, we were getting prescription, lunch, nap, face time with Mommy after that yesterday. Then, my wonderful husband (sensing a pattern?), cooked dinner, then we left the little one behind with Nana and went to the church to help them clear out the Christmas decorations. Went to Wal Mart after and bought Hannah a vaporizer, went home and put her to bed. I am having a terrible time sleeping since she has been sick because she coughs, and I listen. Listen for choking, listen for more coughing, listen for breathing. That's Mommy life.





Today, we have been hanging out in the house. She is napping a lot because of the medicine, but seems to be feeling better. Thank You, Lord. Daniel's mom has invited us over for dinner tonight, so that means night number two of not cooking. What a princess I am!





Tomorrow, Hannah Bugs and I will be preparing the house for New Year's festivities on Friday. I.e.-lunch with Mimi, Grandpa, Poppy, and Mema. Then I am going to start helping my parents move. And Saturday is the big moving day, so you probably won't hear from me then. In other words, this blog is mostly to say-I don't have much time to blog right now. Happy New Year, everyone!

Thank You

1. I got to sleep in today.
2. We went and saw Mom's new place yesterday, so cute!
3. Mom bought us dinner again last night.
4. I have some last minute prep to do for Christmas dinners today and tomorrow because it's Christmas Eve!
5. I am so excited for Hannah's first Christmas....we have the video camera and the photo camera charged and ready to go, so lots of pictures are forthcoming. We are having breakfast with the grandparents, reading the Christmas story from the Bible, and opening gifts. Then we are all having a big lunch together.
6. Daddy will be home with us at 12 o'clock. :)
7. This year I know we are going to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas. It won't be much, but it will be all about family and the Lord-who it should be about anyway.
8. I am enjoying my time off, if for nothing else than to keep up my house!
9. I had a "God moment" yesterday with a missionary I met outside of a store. I won't go into detail too much, but God showed me the true meaning of Christmas, and of our lives for that matter-in that moment of a stranger asking to pray with me. It was a beautiful thing.
10. My cousin Logan is in town, so I got to see his little boy River for the first time yesterday. It was great to see both of them.

Gratitude

1. Lunch with Mom today.

2. Spending time with Hannah today.

3. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve.

4. My house is clean.

5. I got my new kitchen table, and some bonus rocking chairs for the porch....all free.

6. The power of God's love....I have been so amazed lately by how He loves me, and how He moves me to love others.

7. Scott is awake!

8. I am finally back online.

9. Our lamp got broken over the weekend, and someone gave us another one yesterday....crazy!!

10. I made lots of Christmas candy with Mimi on Monday, and she brought me a bunch of it. So good!

The picture at the top is of Scott and Laura....thought I should post one since I talk about them all the time!!

Today's Highlights

Hannah's first cupcake....well, half of a cupcake. I insisted on cutting it in half, she's not even 1 yet!! She studied it for just a second....and then she shoved it STRAIGHT into her mouth. Her daddy and I were laughing hysterically!

Other highlights....

I got a lot of work done in the house today.

We had Chinese food for dinner.....no cooking.

Two more days until Christmas Eve! :)

I got my new kitchen table....no pictures yet.

And I got some rocking chairs for the front porch.

Great day!

So....

So...I am back. SO MUCH to tell, but no time. Christmas is in three days, and my house is a train wreck!!! My Internet was down for day upon miserable day....so I have not posted. I am just trying to get caught up on everything I missed. I promise....a blog will be forthcoming. Or maybe a few blogs...but first......

1. Wash dishes
2. Wash laundry
3. Clean out the fridge
4. Vac and mop all the floors
5. Clean the oven
6. Clean the living room....which includes putting away massive amounts of laundry.
7. Clean Hannah's room, de-junk Hannah's room in preparation for Christmas gifts of new toys, books, and clothes.
8. Clean the dreaded bathrooms
9. And whatever other cleaning-related activities I find along the way. Mimi has Hannah for the day, so I am free to clean! Happy Tuesday, everyone.

Wednesday

Thankful.....

1. My cooking/baking is done for the party tonight.
2. The youth party is tonight.
3. I am at home with Hannah today.
4. The dishes are done.
5. I have had time to wash laundry.
6. Hannah's first Christmas is going to be wonderful.
7. Mom bought us dinner last night, so I didn't have to cook.
8. Two more days until Christmas break.
9. The weather is turning cold...ish again.
10. I may be getting a new kitchen table for Christmas. :) And the best part is, it's totally free!

And one more....when we got home from choir last night, Hannah was still awake. She was teething and generally feeling yucky. So, I took her to her room and we rocked in her chair. I tried the bottle, and she didn't want that. So then, I was singing "Jesus Loves Me" (that's our nighttime song), and she kept reaching up to touch my face, put her face on my face, kiss me, or lay her cheek on my face. It was the sweetest thing ever!

Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas is a dishwasher.

Love,

Jennifer

Little Muscle Man

This is the newest form of entertainment at our house. "Hannah, show me your muscles!"

The giggles are endless!!!

Random

Random reasons why I love my husband.....Tuesday Edition. :)

He listens as I blither on about Angie, NieNie, Mary....all my "blog sisters". I mean actually listens.

He washes laundry.

He goes to the grocery store for me.

He puts gas in my car.

He takes care of Hannah so Mommy can go and enjoy a night with the girls. He dresses her for bed, plays with her, cleans up after her, puts her to bed, and then shares stories with me about their evening together when I get home. :) So sweet.

He encourages me.

He considers me.

He texts me throughout the day, just because he misses me.

He prays for me.

He tells me I am beautiful.

He is a wonderful daddy.

He cooks for us.

He takes out the trash, empties the Diaper Genie and takes the trash can to the street for pick up day.

He helps me with the dishes.

He has mastered the art of actually asking your wife how you can help!!!

He loves me, and never lets a day go by without telling me so.



He picked me.

Perspective from total strangers

So, this weekend we went to a Christmas concert at Abundant Life. I expected to sing along to a few Christmas carols and chat with some old friends. What I did not expect was for God Himself to speak into my situation.

As I was sitting and listening, and wrestling my sleepy, busy 10 month old, Christina began to talk about going through trials. How we need not to "wish them away", but to allow our eyes to see what God is trying to do in our life. And how we need to embrace what happens to us, and let it hurt and DEAL WITH IT. Because if we don't deal with it, let ourselves grieve, let it overtake us for a little while-then we can't see the trial for what it is. It won't change us or cause us to grow-we will just stagnate. I can't remember her exact words, but this is what I got from what she was saying.

And so, I am no longer ashamed that I have allowed this hurt to wash over me and bring me to tears many, many times. That was a necessary part of the process. I will not feel shame if the tears come again...and again....and again. Each time that I grieve over this now, I will pray that God begin to show me the truth of the situation. Why did this happen, what was the purpose? What can I learn from this, what can I do differently? And what blessings is God going to bring through this trial? What blessings is He already bringing through this trial?

After the concert, I spoke to a friend who is a fellow educator. She was one of the few people who saw past the negatives of the situation, and just talked with me about the things that I am gaining from this trial. The amount of time I have been able to spend with Hannah, with Daniel and the rest of the family, the time I have been able to focus on our ministry and my relationship with God. I wouldn't have that if this had not happened. I also would not have the renewed sense of purpose in my life, the strengthening of my passion for education. I have such gratitude now for each moment spent in a classroom, every opportunity to teach, and to make a difference in a child's life.

Also, in reading Nie Nie's story today, I have received some much needed perspective. How each day, each moment is a choice. We can choose to be depressed and despondent, or we can choose to embrace every sweet (or bittersweet) moment of life. We can choose to be thankful for all the good things we have, instead of focusing on what we don't have. These are the things we forget when we are weighed down by the world and it's distractions. We forget to see how beautiful our lives really are. So, to these total strangers who really seem more like friends-thank you. Thank you for showing me how to hurt and how to move on, all at the same time.

Tuesday Thankfuls

1. Working at Satilla today.
2. Christmas party last night was so much fun.....yummy food, great company, fun presents.
3. Spending time with my babies last night.
4. I just finished reading Nie Nie's story from the AZ Republic. Inspiring.
5. Just a few more days until Christmas break.
6. Getting some things done yesterday after school.
7. Having time to get more things done after school today. :)
8. Youth Christmas party tomorrow night.
9. Another good night's sleep last night.
10. Hannah is standing up by herself. So, walking should be coming soon. Sad and happy about that one. She is growing up so fast!!

And...

Two more thankfuls....this picture......AND....Hannah Bug's 1st birthday party pack came in this weekend!!! :) :) :) SO SO CUTE.

Thankfuls

1. Satilla Marsh today.
2. And tomorrow.
3. Santa pictures, family pictures, Christmas shopping...this weekend was great!
4. Busy, busy week ahead.
5. Ladies' Christmas party tonight, riding with my sweet friend Anita.
6. Going home to my sweet Hannah girl in about an hour.
7. Great night's sleep last night.
8. Christmas concert this past Friday night....some of the things that were said really made me begin to see my situation in a different way...more on that later. And, I had a great conversation with a friend after the concert that continued to enlighten me. :)
9. My sweet, wonderful, helpful, supportive, adoring husband.
10. Christmas is right around the corner!