Can Anyone Hear Me?

I’m staring at these empty walls


Wondering when You’ll visit me again

When will You come?

If there is anything at all

Coming in between our love

Please show me, ‘cuz I am barely hanging on

Can anybody hear me?


The silence is deafening


Why do You feel so far away?


When I know You’re here with me


But I just need faith to see


Nothing can separate me from Your love

Believing what I can’t see

Has never come naturally to me

And I’ve got questions

But I am certain of a Love

Strong enough to hold me when I’m doubting

You’ll never let go of my hand


I will trust in You, even in the moments

I can’t find you, and I will hold on to

Your promises of love

You’ve never failed before

I know You can hear me

When the silence is deafening

Even though You seem far away

And I know You’re here with me

But I just need faith to see

Nothing can separate me from Your love

Better Than A Hallelujah

God loves a lullaby


In a mothers tears in the dead of night

Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

God loves the drunkards cry,

The soldiers plea not to let him die

Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.


We pour out our miseries


God just hears a melody


Beautiful the mess we are


The honest cries of breaking hearts


Are better than a Hallelujah.

The woman holding on for life,

The dying man giving up the fight

Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes

The tears of shame for what's been done,

The silence when the words won't come

Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com

Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes.


We pour out our miseries

God just hears a melody

Beautiful the mess we are

The honest cries of breaking hearts

Are better than a Hallelujah

Better than a church bell ringing,

Better than a choir singing out,singing out.


We pour out our miseries

God just hears a melody

Beautiful the mess we are

The honest cries of breaking hearts

Are better than a Hallelujah


Better than a church bell ringing

better than a choir singin' loud

singin' loud

Love Has Come

Well I know this life is filled with sorrow


And there are days when the pain just lasts and lasts

But I know there will come a day

When all our tears are washed away with a break in the clouds

His glory coming down and in that moment


Every knee shall bow every tongue confess


That god is love and love has come for us all


Every heart set free every one will see


That god is love and love has come for us all






For anybody who has ever lost a loved one


And you feel like you had to let go too soon


I know it hurts to say goodbye


But don't you know it's just a matter of time till the tears are gonna end


You'll see them once again and in that moment



Every knee shall bow every tongue confess


That god is love and love has come for us all


Every heart set free every one will see


That god is love and love has come for us all


Oh and on that day we will stand amazed

At our savior god and king

Just to see the face of amazing grace

As our hearts rise up and sing


Glory glory hallelujah

Thank you for the cross

Singing glory glory

Christ has paid the cost


And every knee shall bow every tongue confess

That god is love and love has come for us all

Every heart set free every one will see

That god is love and love has come for us all


And every knee shall bow every tongue confess

God is love and love has come for us all

Every heart set free every one will see

God is love and love has come for us all

Every knee shall bow every tongue confess

God is love and love has come for us all

Every heart set free every one will see

God is love and love has come for us all

God is Rockin' The House

Okay, so I am cleaning my house...and listening to the Top 20 on my very favorite station....90.7. Well, God is totally rockin' my house!! :) Every song that comes on, I feel the Holy Spirit come into the room and I feel tears well up in my eyes. Thank You, Lord for being so present today. You knew that I needed to be near You today, and you came.

The next few posts are the last three songs that have come on in a row that are exactly what I needed to hear.

School's Out For....Some Of Us ;)

I start work on Tuesday. Ready? Not! I am excited about it, but I have so much to do between now and then. Drug screen, background check, orientation, buy scrubs, get a hair cut, pay bills, get my house in order, buy groceries, etc., etc. At least I am almost finished with Courtney's room and will not have to work tomorrow. That will help a lot.

I have been reflecting a lot in the last couple of days, and I am amazed at how different my life is than it was at this time last year. Last year, I was heartbroken....scared....mourning what I thought was the end of my dream. This year, I am beginning a new job (after finishing one I really loved). I am looking forward to meeting new kids, teachers, parents. I am seeing my dream being resurrected, but in a different way. God's plan for my life is so beautiful, and yet so totally different than what my plans were. Now, God is teaching me not to make plans on my own, but to bring my petitions to Him, and let Him do the work. When I saw that door close last year, I thought another one would never open. And yet, it has. Even in the times when I thought things were dark, God was blessing me. He got me out of a really bad situation. He provided for my family financially. He allowed me to spend very little time doing a job that didn't involve children, because he knows that working with children is my calling and my passion.I have worked when I have needed to work, had money when my family had a need, and spent a lot of precious time with my little girl who is growing up so fast. So once again, I am praising and thanking God for His amazing presence in my life. For being the force that drives me, the strength that holds me, the grace that teaches me, and the peace that comforts me. He's my provider, my healer, my friend.

Update

Potty training will be on hold this summer. After thinking about it and talking to Daniel (and Hannah's grandparents), I don't think she is quite ready for that just yet. Also, I found out yesterday that I will probably be working full time this summer, so I won't be able to focus on that the way that I want to. Happy last day of school, everyone!

And it looks like I will be potty training Bugs this summer, too. She took off her wet diaper while I was in the bathroom yesterday, and brought it to me. Sounds like we're ready for the potty!

Welcome, Summer

It's raining! The day before the last day of school. What did I do to make you angry, Lord? ;) Just kidding....sort of....lol. I could not get out of bed this morning. I am sure part of it was the weather, but it's also summeritis. I feel my body being drawn to my house. To cleaning, organizing, sleeping in (as much as a person with a 16 mo. old can), and to spending time with Hannah. I may only be doing temporary work at my new school this summer, because it sounds like they won't need someone every day. That's okay, too. I will have some money coming in, but will also be able to enjoy my summer.

I am glad to know that I am not getting sick again. When I went to bed last night, I felt like I was coming down with something. Now I know it was part exhaustion, part weather.

Next week, I will sleep in. I will go and get my hair cut. I will take Hannah to the pool. I will go and take care of the background check/drug screening at my new job. I will catch up with friends and family. I will read the Word and spend some real face time with the Lord. I will catch up on laundry and put my house back in order. I will breathe in deep and fully relax.....if only for a minute. Welcome, Summer!

Is This Sad?

Is this sad? It is Monday, and I am already looking forward to the weekend. School is out Wednesday, and we have to work Thursday and Friday, but then we're done. Also, this will be the first weekend in about a month's time that I haven't had anything planned. Church on Sunday of course, but that's it!

I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to some rest and relaxation time. Cooking breakfast on Saturday, lounging around on the couch, play time with Hannah, and maybe I can finally clean my house. I can't wait!! Happy MondaywaitingforFriday, all! :)

The Moment That Hope Was Born

Separated until the veil was torn


The moment that hope was born

and guilt was pardoned once and for all


Captivated but no longer bound by chains

left at an empty grave

the sinner and the sacred resolved


[chorus:]

and all of creation sing with me now

lift up your voice and lay your burden down

and all of creation sing with me now

fill up the heavens let his glory resound


Time has faded and we see him face to face

every doubt erased forever we will worhip the king


the reason we breathe is to sing of his glory

and for all he has done praise the father praise the son and the spirit in one


and every knee will bow oh and every tongue praise the father praise the son and the spirit in one

Best Friends

"Best friend" is a term we throw around lightly as children. Whoever happens to sit next to you in class, or the girl who has the same favorite color as you-is your best friend. As we grow older, however, our qualifications for a best friend change. Especially when you go through trials and valleys in your life. You realize what a blessing from God your true friends can be.

So, today, that's what I am thinking about. My best friend. She has been there for me through thick and thin. She has been on my side, had my back, prayed for me, and loved me when I was unloveable. She encourages me and inspires me to be more as a friend, as a Christian, as a minister. Last night while we were talking, I realized again how dear my best friend is to my heart. I was sharing with her about my new job, and she was happy for me, happy with me. I have been so excited, but haven't gotten much response from other people. She helped me realize again all the reasons why I should be excited about this job. She encouraged me by telling me how happy she thought I would be at this job, and how the lack of money couldn't erase the fact that I will be in a place where I feel secure, loved, and full of purpose. I will be able to love my children (students) and love my job. I won't have to feel stressed out all the time, or feel afraid that I am going to misstep and be put out the door.

I am thankful for that edifying conversation. I am thankful for my best friend. Nena, I love ya. :) Thanks for always being there for me. For being a shoulder to cry on, a kick in the pants when I need it, an encourager, a trusted prayer partner, and a sister in Christ. You're the best.

This is a song for anyone whose ever been


Knocked down and can't get back again

Stuck in the corner, can't move forward

All alone and you think you're going nowhere

This is a song for anyone whose ever stood underneath the sun

And felt so small, two feet tall and so out of place

He sees you - He knows you - He loves you

And He wants you to know that

The life that you've been living, the days that you've been given

Were made for something beautiful

Life - don't let it pass you by

Because you were created for something beautiful

Heaven holds a dream that's just for you

And there are things only you can do

So step by faith, put the past away so step by faith, don't be afraid

It'll take you to a better day put the past and your fears away

Second to minute to hour to life

Time always seems to fly

It's on the go and before you know

Your days are through


But he sees you - He knows you - He loves you

And he wants you to know that


The life that you've been living, the days that you've been given

Were made for something beautiful

Life - don't let it pass you by

Because you were created for something beautiful


What are - you waiting for

What are you - waiting for

What - are you waiting for

There's something beautiful

Something Beautiful

So, I got the bug. The one that's been going around at my school. You don't actually vomit, but you really wish you could. It's a great one...lol. I was home all day yesterday, tried to go to church last night, and stayed about 15 minutes. I pretty much slept all day yesterday, so then last night I couldn't sleep. For a minute there, we all wondered if I was pregnant.  I was only half disappointed that I wasn't. Something in me lately has been wanting another child. Hannah is absolutely wonderful, but I feel like our family is still incomplete. We've always wanted our little Noah, and sometimes the urge is strong. I miss being pregnant (sometimes)! I know this is the wrong financial time for us, though. We would have to move into a bigger house, etc., etc. But tell that to my "mommy heart".

I am too much of a "kid person" to stop at one child myself. And Daniel has never wanted Hannah to be an only child. The title of this post is a song that's stuck in my head, but it's also my heartbeat. I want what God wants for my life, and He takes my pieces, my ideas, my "plans"-and works His plan. He turns it into something beautiful. So, we will move into a bigger house...when God says it's time. We will have a bigger church, be paid for our ministry at the church, have jobs and better jobs, and have more children...all in God's timing. I have tried life my way too many times before, and God's way is just so much better!

Looking Forward

I was told today that I am a brave woman to take on a long-term sub job at the end of the school year. I would say that's true. But, I also needed the work. I am enjoying myself, too....getting to have the same group of kids every day and learning about them is wonderful. However, I am really looking forward to summer vacation. How long my vacation will last is still yet to be determined (like I said, I may be working summer camp at my new school!), but at least I will have a day or two to relax....and sleep!!! It is really dawning on the kids at this point that school is almost over. They are really making me work hard to keep up with their energy levels...lol.

One of the girls in my class was asking me today if I was going to be working here next week. I told her that unfortunately I would not, that I have a job lined up at a church preschool. That is when I think it finally hit me. I will be teaching full time next year! I will have my own class with my own "babies", writing my own lesson plans, and getting to know the children and their parents. I will get to see how much they learn and how their development progresses over the course of the year. I will get to celebrate holidays with them, and miss them when school is out. I will get to be a REAL teacher again next year. I AM SO EXCITED!

So, I have much to look forward to. There are also all kinds of exciting things happening at our church, and I can't wait to see what happens next. God has been so good to me, and I know that He always will be.

He'll Do It Again

Well, God came through....again!

I had my interview at a Christian school on Friday, and I actually felt the presence of the Lord in the interview. I was able to fully communicate my love for children and teaching (something I have struggled to do in the past, when things run that deep-it's hard for me to put it into words). The interview was a full-time Pre-K teaching position, and there's a possiblity of working the summer program as well, so that I can get paid in the summertime! I am pretty sure that I got it, the director and I really hit it off. She has to get me (and my pay rate) approved by the board of the church, but other than that, I GOT IT! I am so excited!

Then, last night I was randomly checking my e-mail. I e-mailed someone at the Board of Education office almost two weeks about my certification. To make a long story short, I was about to lose my certification because I am not working full time/taking continuing education classes. Anyway, I got the reply e-mail, and it said that they had just changed the requirement for re-certification. For the next five years, there isn't a professional learning requirement! You just have to fill out the paperwork, and you will be re-certified. :) I was dancing all over the place. I felt as though God had done that just for me. I am so excited, ecstatic, overjoyed, and grateful for how He has seen me through these trials....and He'll do it again...and....again...and again. He loves me (and you) that much. Happy Monday!

Saturday

Ahhhhhh....Saturday.

Relaxing.

Sleeping in.

Cuddle time with Hannah.

Reading stories with Hannah.

Catching up on Facebook.

Having time to put clean sheets on the bed.

Getting laundry and cleaning done.

Hanging out with Daniel.

Subway for lunch.

Dinner/game night with friends.

Tomorrow will be Sunday. :)

Grateful

Can I just say I'm grateful? Today is one of those days where the amount of blessings you have just overwhelm you, and you smile all day long. Here's a few reasons why.....

I have the best husband in the world. He helped me get so many things done last night.
We had a wonderful dinner together with our sweet Hannah.
It's Friday.
I am working at one of the best schools in town....and I get to be here until the last day of school!
I have a job interview today.
I got a really good night's sleep.
We are having dinner with Mom tonight.
Tomorrow is Saturday, and I will get to sleep in for awhile...then wake up and have breakfast with the cutest little girl I've ever seen.
God loves me, and finds some way to shine on me every day.
Life is good.

Heals My Lonely Soul

Do you believe it's true


It all depends on you?

If you were to fall down

We wouldn't know what to do


I'm a lonely soul

I'm a lonely soul

When I think I'm alone


I want to be the moon cause it reflects the sun

Don't want to be the star that shines on everyone

I want to be with you 'cause you're the only one

Who heals my lonely soul


Have you ever got

Everything you want?

Did you fake a grin

And feel you lose when you win?

Full

This week has been busy!! We are preparing for Pastor Appreciation, getting the banner worship team started, I am still working my long term job, and I am working on a children's drama for July 4th! This, along with all the other daily life activities of a wife and mother.....if you are a wife and mother, you know how much that involves!

The exhaustion is setting in. Yesterday, it was annoyingly, bone-crushingly present. I looked at Daniel and said, "It's like I just ran out of gas.". I physically could not do another thing...and my head started throbbing. My wonderful husband looked at me and said "I'll cook dinner!". Hurray for my husband! After I had dinner, I felt better.  Some of my strength returned and I was able to wash the dishes, get Hannah and myself ready for church, go to church, get home, and put her to bed. Then I crashed! Today, I am feeling much better. I am still very ready for the weekend to arrive so that I can sleep in a little bit, though. I have school until 2:30, then I have errands to run, tutoring to do, Hannah to pick up, lunch to make for tomorrow, dinner to cook, dishes to wash, bath to give, teeth to brush, and stories to read.

Yesterday, Mom was telling me that she was praying that God would remove the things that I don't need to be doing, and leave the things He wants me to do. I told her that the tough part is, I need to be doing all of it! All of it is my responsibility, until such time that our church grows and we have more people willing to be in charge of things. So, you can pray for two things...pray that I will have the time to do all the things that I need to get done....and pray that God will send laborers to our church. We desperately need more people so that the same five folks don't have to do everything!

Please know that this is the place where I vent. I know that I am being heard, because I read the words back to myself, and I feel better. :)  I am not in any way, shape, or form unhappy with my life. I am enormously grateful for the ALL of the blessings in my life. But every lady needs rest some time. My "some time" is now! LOL I just need a good nap and some time at the feet of my Saviour. Then, all will be right with the world again. Have a great day, all.

Mother's Day

There are so many things I want to post about. This was the most wonderful Mother's Day weekend of my life. Of course, this was only my second Mother's Day as a mother, so I am sure it will only get better from here.

First of all, Friday night we began our banner worship class at the church. It was wonderful. Then on Saturday morning, Daniel helped me with everything that needed to be done to get us back to the church, then bought us breakfast to top it off.  Saturday's class was even better than Friday's. We didn't just have class, we had an encounter with God. Afterward, we went home, ate lunch, and the grandmothers and myself went out to shop for "banner worship team attire" for Sunday. Daniel stayed home with Hannah while she was napping. When we got home, I got ready to go out with my sweet husband. And my mom watched Hannah for us....thanks, Nana!

Daniel took me to Jacksonville, let me look around in a dozen stores, try things on, and buy nothing. He listened to me talk about the woes of being a plus-sized lady, the yards of ugly fabric they try to drape us in, and how I should start my own plus-sized clothing line. He listened to me talk about school, church, family, friends, etc., etc. He didn't just listen though, he responded. He is so interested in every little thing that makes me who I am....and that is why I think my husband is God's gift to the world....and more specifically, to me. :) Then we had dinner at Olive Garden...my favorite restaurant in the world. After dinner, went to a few more stores...I finally bought some things! When we left, we talked all the way home.

Yesterday, Daniel made breakfast for us and got Hannah dressed for church. The service was beautiful, we had a great time. After church, Daniel cooked lunch for us and our parents (minus the two who don't live here in town, that is). He served our food, put Hannah down for a nap, washed the dishes, and balanced the checkbook. He did everything he could to make this weekend as fun and stress-free as possible for me. It was awesome! So, to my husband, thank you. This was the best Mother's Day ever. I love you!

 I also enjoyed lots of Hannah time yesterday, which is always great. She was so cute in her little pink dress, smiling and giving me lots of kisses. And the best part was, I told her at the lunch table that I loved her-and as clear as a bell, she said-"Love you". It was the sweetest thing ever! I love that girl!

So, I am back at work today and on cloud nine thinking about my wonderful weekend with my wonderful family. Happy Monday!

Inner Strength

Some of the "blog sisters" I read were challenging us to share where we find inner strength during trials. Here goes....

In my relationship with God.

In my faith in His word.

In the laughter of my daughter.

In the arms of my husband.

In the eyes of the children I teach.

In the prayers of my friends.