For Only He Is God

I am just so grateful for the way God does things. The way He moves in my life, in the life of my family. For the subtle things He does, for the BIG things He does. For the way He is moving in our church. Slowly, quietly....but deliberately. He has a plan for us. Even when we don't understand, even when we don't like it, even when he feel like giving up because He seems to move so slowly. He keeps working His plan. I'm glad He is God and that He is in control. He is so much better at it than I would be.
I know that this is a very random post, but I was standing in my kitchen and just felt a wave of glory hit me. Why? Nothing big and earthshattering has happened, my situations haven't changed all that much. But I feel that something is about to change. I feel that something big is coming. But it's more than a feeling. It's knowing that God is standing right there beside me through it all. My life is good because He is my God, and my God is good.

A couple of praise reports....I have a pretty big cleaning job next week that's gonna bring in some money for us.
Daniel got a raise yesterday.
Dianna and Rene came and spoke to our group last night, and it was wonderful. And as far as our students go, I don't see a lot changing in their situations right now. But the atmosphere on Wednesday nights has changed. The expectancy, the attitude, the relationships have changed. Those are all signs that God is moving, and I thank Him for that.

Healed

Hilarious thought for the day....I was running rampant around the house trying to get some things done before an important phone call I was expecting, and Hannah was in to everything! I decided to let her go down to her grandparents' house to play so that I could get my work done. Suddenly, everything was getting done, and so quickly! I thought to myself "Things really seem to get done quicker when Little Tiny is not around. But I wouldn't trade her for all the free time in the world. And I think that's why God gave children grandparents, so the parents don't have to choose!" :)

I sang "I Bowed on my Knees and Cried Holy" yesterday at church, and all I could see was Scott's face! I cried as I sang, and thought about my precious friend up there in Heaven with Jesus. Today, I signed up for our time to work the Prayer Tent at Relay For Life this coming weekend. I am really excited about that, I wanted to do something special to honor his life and the good fight that he fought. I am also going to sing "Healed" at church on Sunday. I sang that song when he was really getting sick and we weren't sure what was going to happen. I declared to our church before I sang that song that it was for Scott and that I knew he would be healed. I think I will be singing that song this time as a testimony to myself more than anyone else. I need to remind myself that God is our healer...that Jesus took those stripes so that we would be healed...that God is sovereign, even when things go terribly wrong. And that Scott is healed, just not in the way that my finite mind can understand. Have a great Monday, everyone. And tell the people you love, that you love them. We are not promised tomorrow.

Jehovah Jireh

I am up way too early on this Saturday morning. And my little tiny is still asleep! This week turned out pretty well. I cleaned a house on Wednesday, and subbed Thursday and Friday. God is still providing, helping me to piece income together, and allowing me lots of quality time with Hannah. He's good like that. Since I am awake and the house is silent, I am thinking alot. We are having a big birthday dinner over here tonight to celebrate my mom and I need to get things ready, but I just want to sit in the silence for now.

I am thinking about how blessed I am, and how easily I forget that. I am thinking about this hunger that I am feeling for MORE of God, and how glad I am that I feel that way. This November, I will have been saved for 14 years....that's pretty amazing. I have been walking with the Lord for this long and still feel so alive, so grateful, so in love with my Saviour. As I said in my last post though, God is making me aware of how much time we waste. How much more we could have with Him that we just don't take the time to tap into. We're too tired, too busy, too stubborn...I'm not sure what it is. Maybe we are afraid. And each time I think about this, I think about the one person I knew personally who was not afraid to seek God with everything he was worth. That was Scott Harvell to a "T". Once he got saved, he didn't waste one minute becoming a sold-out follower of Christ, and trying to get as many with him as possible.

Next weekend Daniel and I are working the Way Radio prayer tent at Relay For Life. I wanted to do something special at Relay this year to honor Scott's memory. To let him know (even though he's not here) or maybe to let myself know, that his life meant alot to me. That his influence is still being manifested in my life. That his passion for God was like a fire that consumed each person who got to know that precious man of faith. This is one of my ways of giving back to someone who gave so much to me. To minister hope and love to people who are going through the battle of their lives. At first I didn't think I was going to do it. I felt that I was unprepared and unworthy of such a special job. But then I decided to "do it afraid" and let God take care of it. I know it's going to be an awesome time, and I am so excited. Have a great Saturday, everyone.

This picture was taken at the Relay For Life in Douglas last night, where Laura and her church celebrated Scott.

Take Me All The Way

I'm not really sure how it happens. Suddenly, you're just living life. You're just going through the motions. First, God does something (or alot of things) that you can't explain. You are blown away, exhilarated, changed, inspired. And then...life happens. Bills, laundry, diapers, dishes, jobs *or lack of jobs*, cooking, friends, family, etc., etc. And you feel stuck. Dry....lifeless....dead. We had the most amazing service last Wednesday night. I experienced things with God that I never have. But then, by Sunday, I felt completely different. Drained....out of it.....tired.

Last night, we had a good service. Daniel challenged us to live our purpose, live out loud. But something was missing. I found myself praying that God would help me not to just go through the motions of life. Ever since Scott died, I have been keenly aware of the disconnect between what we are and what God wants us to be. How we worship and live, and how He wants us to do those things. God is showing me that there is more to Him than we have ever imagined, ever even tried to obtain. When He comes into the church, it's almost like we are wasting His potential. He could do so much in those moments with us, but we limit Him. We let Him do what we are comfortable with or what we have time for. If we would allow Him to, He could do something real and relevant. He could send revival to our church, to our country. And He wants to. I asked Him to send us out from church each time looking just a little bit more like Him. If we don't....I don't really see the point of going to church. I don't see the point of seeking Him....if we're not going to wait around long enough to find Him. But His word says that those who hunger and thirst after righteousness shall be filled. And that if we seek Him, we will find Him. I want to experience His glory. I want to see what He's all about. I want to know who He REALLY IS. Not what He can do for me, but what I can do for Him. What He wants me to do for Him. And I want to worship Him in the truest, simplest, and yet most beautiful sense of the word. I want to look into His face, and see Him. I am tired of dead, dry, lifeless religion. It doesn't satisfy, and it never will.

This might hurt


It’s not safe

But I know that I’ve gotta make a change

I don’t care

If I break

At least I’ll be feeling something

‘Cause just ok

Is not enough

Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don’t wanna go through the motions

I don’t wanna go one more day

Without Your all consuming passion inside of me

I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking

What if I had given everything?

Instead of going through the motions

No regrets

Not this time

I’m gonna let my heart defeat my mind

Let Your love

Make me whole

I think I’m finally feeling something

Take me all the way

Take me all the way

Take me all the way

One Of Those Days

I have been having "one of those days" for the past couple of days. Just struggling/questioning/wondering. I am tired. I am nostalgic. I am restless. A few things I have been meditating on lately....

As long as there's breath, there's hope.

Focus on the things that matter.

Take one day at a time.

The joy of the Lord is my strength.

God is with me...every breath, every moment, every thought.

I am blessed. I may not have everything I want, but I have what I need....and more.

It's Friday but Sunday is Coming

Nothing’s sacred, the days are cheap.


Truth is thin on the ground.

Still our prophets are crucified.

Nobody believes they’re stumblin'.

It’s Friday, but Sunday is comin'.


Someone’s saying a prayer tonight

For a hungry mouth to be fed.

Someone kneels in the dark somewhere;

Darkness is already crumblin'.

Yeah, it’s Friday, but Sunday comes.


(Chorus)

Sunday!

Hallelujah!

It’s not so far, it’s not so far away.

Sunday!

Hallelujah!

It’s not so far, it’s not so far away.


Broken promises, weary hearts,

But one promise remains:

Crucified, He will come again.

It’s Friday, but Sunday is comin'.

Yeah, it’s Friday, but Sunday is comin'!

Darkness is already crumblin'.

It’s Friday, but Sunday is comin'.

Yeah, it's Friday, but Sunday is comin'.

Can you feel it?

Here it comes.


Sunday!

Hallelujah!

It's not so far, it's not so far away.

Sunday!

Hallelujah!

It's not so far, our God will have His day!

If You Want Me To

The pathway is broken

And the signs are unclear

And I don't know the reason why You brought me here

But just because You love me the way that You do

I'm gonna walk through the valley

If You want me to


No I'm not who I was

When I took my first step

And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet

So if all of these trials bring me closer to You

Then I will go through the fire

If You want me to


It may not be the way I would have chosen

When You lead me through a world that's not my home

But You never said it would be easy

You only said I'll never go alone


So when the whole world turns against me

And I'm all by myself

And I can't hear You answer my cries for help

I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through

And I will go through the darkness

If You want me to


When I cross over Jordan, I'm gonna sing, gonna shout

Gonna look into your eyes and see you never let me down

So take me on the pathway that leads me home to you

And I will walk through the valley if you want me to

Yes, I will walk through the valley if you want me to

Beach Day

I had a great time at the beach today with Hannah. We didn't stay long, because I didn't want either of us to get fried by the sun. It took her a minute to decide if the sand was okay or not, and the water was really cold so we didn't go in. Once she decided the sand was acceptable, she had a blast. She dug with the shovel and dumped sand in and out of buckets. She ate some sand *yuck* and dumped the whole bucket of sand out on her head one time. We had a wonderful time! 

Wednesday

We are headed to Jesup tonight for another service at Jesup COG...Eddie James is going to be there! He is a personal favorite of mine, I cannot wait! These are some pics of Hannah feeding herself with a spoon. She is such a big girl! Once again, I am so grateful to have this time at home with her.

Look Up

Saturday night I was talking to my friend Anita about all of the stuff that the believers are going through. And I began talking about the fact that Satan really believes that he is winning this battle, and he's got some of us convinced of the same thing! And I started talking to her about what the book of Revelation says about his future (and ours). I remembered a lot of the things it said, but I felt the need to go back and read it again, since it had been awhile. What I read amazed me once again! Then Sunday, our pastor was talking about all of the signs of His coming that we are seeing in the world. He told us to go through the chapter about the signs (Luke 21), and see if we couldn't check off every one!

And they asked him, saying, Master, but when shall these things be? and what sign [will there be] when these things shall come to pass?

And he said, Take heed that ye be not deceived: for many shall come in my name, saying, I am [Christ]; and the time draweth near: go ye not therefore after them.
But when ye shall hear of wars and commotions, be not terrified: for these things must first come to pass; but the end [is] not by and by.
Then said he unto them, Nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom:
And great earthquakes shall be in divers places, and famines, and pestilences; and fearful sights and great signs shall there be from heaven.
But before all these, they shall lay their hands on you, and persecute [you], delivering [you] up to the synagogues, and into prisons, being brought before kings and rulers for my name's sake. Men's hearts failing them for fear, and for looking after those things which are coming on the earth: for the powers of heaven shall be shaken.

And then shall they see the Son of man coming in a cloud with power and great glory.
And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh.

I highlighted a bunch of them for you, and there are more I didn't copy and paste, because it's very long. Go, and read it for yourself. Some people may call me an "alarmist" or a "fanatic" for saying all of this, but either we believe in the Word of God, or we don't. We can't pick and choose which Scriptures are truth. I believe that every word in that book is true, and I intend to live by it. Last night, we went to hear Sister Jan Aldridge at Homerville COG. She was also talking about the signs of the times, and that we need to be prepared, not asleep. She spoke about the ten virgins in the Scriptures, when the bridegrooms came, five were ready. But five were not. My focus immediately went to the five who were not ready. They started out waiting on his return, their lamps full of oil, their spirits ready. But at some point, they forgot to wait, watch, anticipate his return. They became weary, and they fell asleep. When the bridegroom came, they ran around begging for oil, begging for someone to help them. But no one could. Sister Jan talked about the believers in the church who have fallen asleep, who will miss the coming of the Lord. How they will run to the church, begging for help...but no one will be there to help them. Yes, they can still become saved after the Rapture takes place, but it will be much harder. Namely because the Holy Spirit will be gone. AGH, that hurts my heart! It hurts because I know there are people who I love dearly who will not make it if they don't turn to God NOW! So, if you know you're not right with God, go to church tomorrow or kneel down RIGHT NOW and ask Jesus to come into your heart. If you're not sure if you're ready to go, FIND OUT! Talk to God, ask Him to search your heart and reveal to you what's inside it. Allow Him to change you while there is still time for Him to do it. I know that I am ready to go (because I ask God every day), and I know that He is coming, so now I need to know that the people I love are going to go with me. Look up, your redemption draweth nigh.

Awaken Our Hearts

Oh little town of Bethlehem

Looks like another silent night

Above your deep and dreamless sleep

A giant star lights up the sky

And while you're lying in the dark

There shines an everlasting light

For the King has left His throne

And is sleeping in a manger tonight, tonight


Oh Bethlehem, what you have missed while you were sleeping

For God became a man

And stepped into your world today

Oh Bethlehem, you will go down in history

As a city with no room for its King

While you were sleeping


Mary shivers in the cold

Trying to keep the Savior warm

Born among the animals wrapped in dirty rags

Because there was no room for Him in the world He came to save


United States of America

Looks like another silent night

As we're sung to sleep by philosophies

That save the trees and kill the children

And while we're lying in the dark

There's a shout heard 'cross the eastern sky

For the Bridegroom has returned

And has carried His bride away in the night


America, what will we miss while we are sleeping

Will Jesus come again

And leave us slumbering where we lay

America, will we go down in history

As a nation with no room for its King

Will we be sleeping

Will we be sleeping


United States of America

Looks like another silent night

I know in my heart that time is running out and that the end of days is coming. I feel it, I see it, I hear it, I read about it in God's word. My heart is breaking, knowing that people who I love are not ready. My heart is breaking, knowing that people are spiritually asleep, and do not feel/sense/discern His return! I want to be ready, and I want to take as many people with me as I can.

It Will Come True

This is an excerpt from my study bible...I didn't write it! :)

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth. Revelation 21:1

We sense it at rare moments. The first real day of spring, when the air is heavy with the scent of blooms and new life sprouts everywhere. Or even in winter, when an unexpected snowstorm clothes a gray, dingy city in pure white. Or when we watch a baby animal at play in the zoo. Or remember the first sudden twinge of romantic love.

This world may be full of pollution, war, crime, and hate. But inside us, all of us, linger remnants that remind us of what the world could be like-of what we could be like. The Old Testament prophets dreamed of "that day" when creation would be made new. And those sensations, following a dismal monotone of predicted catastrophes, burst out of the last few chapters of Revelation. That perfect world is not merely a dream; it will come true.

I was talking to one of my friends who has gone through trial after trial after trial lately. And I was telling her what the Word said about the times we are living in. And I told her that it seems like Satan is having his way with God's people right now, and maybe he is. But every dog has his day, and soon Satan is going to pay for what he has done to us. He is not going to prevail, no matter how much it may look that way sometimes. Then, I went to my favorite study bible to look a little closer at those Scriptures in Revelation, and I saw the posting above. Satan DOES NOT WIN, God's PEOPLE DO!  I have more to say on this topic, but my husband is waiting on me to watch a movie with him. I hope everyone has a wonderful Sabbath tomorrow! Loves!

Introspection and Updates

I was just looking over some of my blogs, and I realized that I had been posting really requirely until I got so busy with work this week. Not a bad problem to have, but it leaves little time for introspection. I love my quiet time with the Lord. I love when I hear Him telling me things, and they are so brilliant that I have to get online and share them with you....btw, is anyone out there actually reading this? Oh well, it helps me to write it either way.

Today I am thinking about the memorial service I went to last night. For Landen....he didn't make it 24 hours in this world. So sad. As I watched his young parents stand before us and tell us all that it's okay. (Seriously, you are telling me it's okay? I should be telling you that!) Their strength just amazed me. His mommy actually stood up in the choir and sang...at her son's funeral. I couldn't do that...I wouldn't do it. That is one time I would refuse to feel guilty for not serving the church. I don't know that I would have as good an attitude as she has, either. I imagine myself kicking, screaming, yelling, crying, and asking "WHY WHY WHY?". Maybe that's why she is her and I am me. God knows who can handle what. And He never puts more on us than we can bear. I think, actually I know-I would rather go through the job/financial hardship I am going through 100 times than go through what Gabrielle and JT are going through. That's why I told them last night that they are my new heroes.

Last night was wonderful in one respect though. I got to see all of my ALF buddies. I miss them SO much! Especially in the uncertain times that my family is going through. They wrap me up in a big group hug and don't let me go! They make me feel so loved and so important. And bonus....our precious Laura was there! *SQUEAL* I love her. :)

We are (hopefully) going to have an opportunity to help a friend and make some money this weekend. Still waiting to hear about that. We were given a $100 grocery store gift card yesterday....wow!! And had dinner out/grocery items bought for us this week as well. My mom is going to get some things for Hannah this weekend, and Billy is giving me money to shop a sack sale at my favorite kids' consignment store this weekend. God is still blessing us, I always like to give those praise reports as they come. And thanks be to Him, they have been coming ALOT for us. He's so good, it brings tears to my eyes. He brings joy to my heart. He makes me want to be more and do more, because He is so wonderful! I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend, I know I plan to! Weekends are family time, and I love that so much. I have been missing my Hannah Bug these last few days. I need to post pics soon, she is growing so fast! And walking so fast. Happy Friday!

This Week

So, when this week is over I will have logged three days of subbing and two days of tutoring. Not bad. :) Definetely 100% better than what I expected. Happy Wednesday!

God Is Here

Come and lay down, the burdens you have carried. For in this sanctuary, God is here. -Martha Munizzi

Nothing has changed, except my attitude about my circumstances. Sunday was one of the most awesome days I have ever experienced at MCCOG, or anywhere for that matter. I knew God was there, I knew He was listening, I knew He cares about my situation. And I know it was real, because it is still with me. After things didn't change (yet), after knowing that I have two funerals to go to for children this week :(, after a leader of our church walked away, after grief about Scott surfaced again and tried to overtake me. I will share with you my version of Sunday morning's sermon, and that will give you an inkling as to why I knew God was speaking to me on Sunday.

I don't have a job....but God is still here.

I can't pay my bills....but God is still here.

My heart is broken....but God is still here.

The world is a mess....but God is still here.

My friend is gone...but God is still here.

A church leader left...but God is still here.

Abby has been very sick...but God is still here.

My friends were in a car accident last week, and they don't know if their vehicle can be fixed....but God is still here.

Gabrielle's baby passed away...but God is still here.

I have lost family members....but God is still here.

---No matter what comes....God is still here. He will never leave us, nor forsake us. He will always be with us. And knowing that, I can make it. Knowing that, I believe my prayers will be answered. He was born on time, He died on time, He was resurrected on time, He will meet my needs on time, and He will return for His bride....ON TIME!

Tired

Come to me, all you who labor and are heavyladen-and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

I am physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially exhausted.

I also know that I am loved, blessed, cherished, prayed for, cared about, provided for, blessed, and highly favored. So, I will make it.

I have been on edge all day long. I kept asking myself why my fuse has been so short. And then the Holy Spirit said to me "You are in the desert, you are walking through the fire. You're going to have days like this, and it's okay. I am still with you." When we are weak, God is strong. When we can't seem to get it right, he gives us mercy. I am thankful to Him that the people in my life extend that same mercy to me. :) Daniel and I were talking about our options in our current situation again today, and I just feel like I am backed into a corner, and I CANNOT find my way out. Lord, I need some relief. I need something to happen that is not just a ray of hope, but an actual solution to the problem. I need You to move like I have never seen You move before, and we will give You glory for doing what man cannot do.

We Win Because of You

You can't bring me down, devil. God's been too good, and He won't quit now. I WIN!!!

I am having a wonderful day, getting a lot accomplished since I am not working today. Got one bill cut in half, and an extension on another bill until May. I have a tutoring session this afternoon, which means more money for us! Looking forward to cooking dinner for Nena, Chris, and Daniel-then heading to the movies with all of them. I am so thankful for GREAT friends and a wonderful husband that God has given me. You guys make my life wonderful, and keep me sane! :)

Tomorrow, my mom is taking Hannah and I grocery shopping. Mom is also gonna buy the Special Ed GACE book for me. I have decided to go for it. It is something I want to do anyway, and I have time right now. Plus, it will be one more thing to add to my resume when I head back into that BOE office to get my career back! :) That's about it for now. Looking forward to a wonderful weekend with my friends and family. Happy Friday, everyone!

Give God The Glory

I am working today. Not at one of my favorite schools, but I couldn't have cared less when I got the call. I am working. That's the point. I am also going to begin my tutoring job this afternoon. It's not going to amount to very much money, but it will buy diapers and help with gas money. I will take it. Yesterday, I was emotionally spent. Today, I feel kind of...numb?....sedate?....at peace? I am really not sure. I had some good face time with the Lord at church last night, and I bawled my little eyes out. I have been feeling like I can barely breathe. When I am with God though, I feel like I can breathe. He is the air I breathe....what a blessing. He is also blessing us financially....we have been GIVEN fifty dollars this week, had dinner bought for us last night, had groceries bought for us yesterday. Daniel is going to be working for a friend this weekend and will be bringing home a nice amount of money for that. Thank You, Lord. Also, my super fabulous best friend Nena came to church last night. I wanted to ask her to come, because I was such an emotional wreck yesterday...but I knew it wasn't fair to ask her that. She came to church, and she told me that she felt like she had to come. She prayed for me, and I felt the wind of the Holy Spirit blow into my heart again. Twice in one night.....I'll take it. :) THANK YOU, LORD for friends who will pray for us. She is also treating us to a movie this weekend....isn't she fabulous?

I don't understand any of what is happening, but I can't wait for the day when I will understand. When God finally reveals His purpose and plan for all of the pain I have been through in the past year. But right now, He is pouring out His blessings and I am not letting one go by without praising Him for it. Looking at the cold hard facts, we shouldn't still have our home and our car....but we do. We shouldn't have food to eat or the things that Hannah needs...but we do. And that is 100% because of God. No one else gets the glory for that. No one else. Nena and I both came to the same conclusion at different times yesterday. One of my greatest desires is to be a stay-at-home mom with Hannah. And Nena knew that because she has read it on my blog. We both realized yesterday that God is giving me that privelege right now. It might not last very long, because I really do need to work. It may not be the way I wanted it to happen, but it has happened. I was home with her this whole week until today. Sometimes God answers our prayers, and we don't even realize it because He didn't do it our way. But He still did it. :) I am so thankful that He is God and I am not. He is so much better at it than I would be.

I Give You All of My Praise

I didn't get the job. This is really all I have to say for now....

I don't understand Your ways


Oh but I will give You my song

Give You all of my praise

You hold on to all my pain

With it You are pulling me closer

And pulling me into Your ways



Now around every corner

And up every mountain

I'm not looking for crowns

Or the water from fountains

I'm desperate in seeking, frantic believing

That the sight of Your face

Is all that I need

I will say to You



It's gonna be worth it

It's gonna be worth it

It's gonna be worth it all

I believe this

It's gonna be worth it

It's gonna be worth it

It's gonna be worth it all

I believe this



You're gonna be worth it

You're gonna be worth it

You're gonna be worth it all

I believe this

You're gonna be worth it

You're gonna be worth it

You're gonna be worth it all

I believe this

Praise You In This Storm

As I was praying for friends and family....and myself....God gave me some perspective on our "situations". I was thinking about how we need to praise Him in the storm. And then He said to me....that is what this is. These things that all of you are going through are just that-storms. And they will pass, just like storms in the natural. The winds will howl, the rain will fall, the lightning will strike, and the thunder will crash. It will seem very loud, scary, and much bigger than you are. But, it will pass. We just have to hold on to Him for all we are worth, and trust Him to get us through it.

We get so caught up in what is happening to us, that we forget that it won't last forever. Yes, we are going to hurt over our current situations. But don't let them overtake you. Don't let Satan and his tools of fear, desperation, and depression sweep you away from God. Let God's love, peace, and mercy be present with you in this storm. And praise Him, no matter what comes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHdcyue0bSw Here is the link for the song/video Praise You In This Storm