Brother Scott

I don't know if it's the weather...or what. But I can't stop thinking today. Thinking, thinking, thinking. Maybe it's because I saw Laura last night. Or if it's that I have time to think, because I am home today. Scott and Laura both just will not leave my mind. I cried as I drove home last night because I was still looking for him at church. Then I felt guilty because I am sure that Laura struggles with that evey moment of every day. I have never taken someone's death so hard....ever. But his passing represents so many things for me. He represented my youth-not that I am an old woman by any means. But the times of being a student in a youth ministry are over. He represented some of the most amazing times of praise and worship I have ever experienced. He was there when I finally decided to get real about God as a young person. He was so much of the reason that I had the desire to do that.

I remember songs he sang, words he preached, things he said to me, times when he made me laugh (TONS of those). I always wanted an older brother, and since Scott was so close to my age, he couldn't really be a "father figure" to me. (Even though many times he was). But he most certainly felt like a brother to me. I think that's why I always called him "Brother Scott", because he was my spiritual brother-and not in name only. He was a friend, a confidante, a prayer warrior, a counselor, a leader. He was my "wake-up call" when I was headed in the wrong direction. So decisions I made I would ask myself "What would Brother Scott think about this?". Of course what God thought came into play, but sometimes it's easier to have a person in your life to be your "moral compass", especially as a young person. I felt accountable to him, but I never felt that he judged me. He taught me what it meant to love as Christ loves the church, how to be a true disciple of Christ, how to "live out loud" for God. I thank God for his influence on my life. I am so glad that I knew him. It's just so hard to say goodbye to him.