Commitments

I choose not to call them "resolutions", because those always get broken!

Commitments for 2010
Exercise.....notice I didn't put an amount of times per week to do this.....at this point, anything would be good!

Put laundry away when it comes out of the dryer. These seems silly, but OH the headaches it will save me from!!!

Make better food choices......this one is especially important because I have a little one watching me now....and starting to eat whatever I eat.

Pray and read the Word consistently every single day!

Continue to work on my "attitude of gratitude" and "taming my tongue".

That's all.....I didn't want to make too many.....harder to stick with it. These are all things that are very important to me and that I want to work on in the new year. I figured putting them on a public forum like this would help me remain motivated about doing these things. Happy 2010, everyone!

2009-A Year In Review

Although I am a very thankful person, I think I am going to put the "Thankfuls" lists aside for awhile, and just blog. When I can. ;) Today, I was thinking about the new year that is rapidly approaching. This of course, leads me to think about the year that is ending. What a year 2009 has been.

January brought us the sweetest gift EVER! On January 29th, our sweet Hannah Faith was born. She has changed my life in so many ways. I am a more giving, selfless, kind person than I have ever been before. I have become more aware of the importance of faith, family, and love than I ever was before. Having a child is the most wonderful gift from God (after the gift of salvation, of course). I highly recommend both to you.

February, life began to return to normal....well, our new normal. We had our first picture taken as a family at the youth Valentine's Banquet, and I couldn't stop staring at that photo. I was FINALLY a mommy and lovin' every minute of it. Hannah was also dedicated to the Lord that month. We acknowledged before our family and friends that she was given to us by God, and that we were grateful for that.

March was when we found out I wouldn't have a job to come back to the next school year. That was so painful, depressing, scary, and a million other bad adjectives that I cannot think of at the moment. I thank God and God alone that we have been able to survive throughout this nightmare. I look forward to finding out in 2010 what His greater purpose was for this horrendous event.

April brought Hannah's First Easter....it was wonderful to celebrate such a special day with our special girl. I tried to post a picture here, but it ended up at the top. I will figure this out one day!

May was my first Mother's Day as a mommy! Boy, did I celebrate it. I remembered the Mother's Day the year before and how down I was. I kept saying I am still not a Mommy. Little did I know at the time, but I was already pregnant with Hannah on Mother's Day! I should really trust God a little more, huh? Also in May, school got out. I worked some temporary jobs and soaked up the time with Hannah. I also cleaned out my classroom and cried my eyes out.

June, July.....more of the same......temp work and time with Hannah. We celebrated July 4th with the family. Another pic at the top. This was also when Daniel and I celebrated our 3 year wedding anniversary. He is so good to me, and I love him so much. I have enjoyed watching him become a daddy, and see how much he loves our daughter. It makes me love him even more! This was also the time that it started to seem like Hannah's first year was going by way too fast.

August....school started back, I was still working in a business office. The first day of school was a sad one for me. I wanted to be in my classroom, meeting my new students, and just being a teacher. I decided to begin substitute teaching a few weeks after school started, and that kept me busy through the rest of the year. September-working, etc.

October....Daniel's birthday, Hannah's first Halloween....fun fun! I also did a long-term sub job at Satilla Marsh during this time. I enjoyed that so much, I didn't want to see it end. We also went on our little "staycation" this month. We went and stayed on St. Simons with my dad, Dawn, and their little ones. We thoroughly enjoyed that time.

November.....my 29th birthday....we went to Jax....went shopping....went to Olive Garden!

Thanksgiving was also this month. I enjoyed seeing my family enjoy Hannah...and Thanksgiving always means good food! I also had so much to be thankful for.

December brought Christmas....all the shopping, preparation, wrapping, eating. We have had so much fun this year with Hannah's first Christmas....we didn't want to see it end. We are now preparing for her 1st birthday party, and I am so excited for it-but at the same time I want to cry! My baby isn't a baby anymore. She is becoming a big girl!!

I will say this for 2009...it has been the best and the worst year. With everything that has happened work/financial-wise, I am so glad that Hannah is here. She makes everything easier to cope with just by looking at her sweet little face. She has brought us such joy. Also, because of the work situation-I have had more time for my family and friends than I did before. That is a wonderful blessing. The biggest lesson I have learned this year is-stop and smell the roses. Enjoy your friends, your extended family, your spouse, and your children. These are the treasures you can enjoy on Earth and also take with you to Heaven.

I look forward to 2010 because God is in control. He has every one of my days in His hands, and He will carry me.

Tuesday

So, Christmas pretty much took up our weekend....it was great! That, and church on Sunday. My wonderful husband took me shopping in Darien for Christmas gifts he didn't have time/money to get before Christmas.





Hannah seemed to be getting rapidly worse with her cold, so I took her to the doctor yesterday. Our good ole Dr. G told me that she has RSV. So, we were getting prescription, lunch, nap, face time with Mommy after that yesterday. Then, my wonderful husband (sensing a pattern?), cooked dinner, then we left the little one behind with Nana and went to the church to help them clear out the Christmas decorations. Went to Wal Mart after and bought Hannah a vaporizer, went home and put her to bed. I am having a terrible time sleeping since she has been sick because she coughs, and I listen. Listen for choking, listen for more coughing, listen for breathing. That's Mommy life.





Today, we have been hanging out in the house. She is napping a lot because of the medicine, but seems to be feeling better. Thank You, Lord. Daniel's mom has invited us over for dinner tonight, so that means night number two of not cooking. What a princess I am!





Tomorrow, Hannah Bugs and I will be preparing the house for New Year's festivities on Friday. I.e.-lunch with Mimi, Grandpa, Poppy, and Mema. Then I am going to start helping my parents move. And Saturday is the big moving day, so you probably won't hear from me then. In other words, this blog is mostly to say-I don't have much time to blog right now. Happy New Year, everyone!

Thank You

1. I got to sleep in today.
2. We went and saw Mom's new place yesterday, so cute!
3. Mom bought us dinner again last night.
4. I have some last minute prep to do for Christmas dinners today and tomorrow because it's Christmas Eve!
5. I am so excited for Hannah's first Christmas....we have the video camera and the photo camera charged and ready to go, so lots of pictures are forthcoming. We are having breakfast with the grandparents, reading the Christmas story from the Bible, and opening gifts. Then we are all having a big lunch together.
6. Daddy will be home with us at 12 o'clock. :)
7. This year I know we are going to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas. It won't be much, but it will be all about family and the Lord-who it should be about anyway.
8. I am enjoying my time off, if for nothing else than to keep up my house!
9. I had a "God moment" yesterday with a missionary I met outside of a store. I won't go into detail too much, but God showed me the true meaning of Christmas, and of our lives for that matter-in that moment of a stranger asking to pray with me. It was a beautiful thing.
10. My cousin Logan is in town, so I got to see his little boy River for the first time yesterday. It was great to see both of them.

Gratitude

1. Lunch with Mom today.

2. Spending time with Hannah today.

3. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve.

4. My house is clean.

5. I got my new kitchen table, and some bonus rocking chairs for the porch....all free.

6. The power of God's love....I have been so amazed lately by how He loves me, and how He moves me to love others.

7. Scott is awake!

8. I am finally back online.

9. Our lamp got broken over the weekend, and someone gave us another one yesterday....crazy!!

10. I made lots of Christmas candy with Mimi on Monday, and she brought me a bunch of it. So good!

The picture at the top is of Scott and Laura....thought I should post one since I talk about them all the time!!

Today's Highlights

Hannah's first cupcake....well, half of a cupcake. I insisted on cutting it in half, she's not even 1 yet!! She studied it for just a second....and then she shoved it STRAIGHT into her mouth. Her daddy and I were laughing hysterically!

Other highlights....

I got a lot of work done in the house today.

We had Chinese food for dinner.....no cooking.

Two more days until Christmas Eve! :)

I got my new kitchen table....no pictures yet.

And I got some rocking chairs for the front porch.

Great day!

So....

So...I am back. SO MUCH to tell, but no time. Christmas is in three days, and my house is a train wreck!!! My Internet was down for day upon miserable day....so I have not posted. I am just trying to get caught up on everything I missed. I promise....a blog will be forthcoming. Or maybe a few blogs...but first......

1. Wash dishes
2. Wash laundry
3. Clean out the fridge
4. Vac and mop all the floors
5. Clean the oven
6. Clean the living room....which includes putting away massive amounts of laundry.
7. Clean Hannah's room, de-junk Hannah's room in preparation for Christmas gifts of new toys, books, and clothes.
8. Clean the dreaded bathrooms
9. And whatever other cleaning-related activities I find along the way. Mimi has Hannah for the day, so I am free to clean! Happy Tuesday, everyone.

Wednesday

Thankful.....

1. My cooking/baking is done for the party tonight.
2. The youth party is tonight.
3. I am at home with Hannah today.
4. The dishes are done.
5. I have had time to wash laundry.
6. Hannah's first Christmas is going to be wonderful.
7. Mom bought us dinner last night, so I didn't have to cook.
8. Two more days until Christmas break.
9. The weather is turning cold...ish again.
10. I may be getting a new kitchen table for Christmas. :) And the best part is, it's totally free!

And one more....when we got home from choir last night, Hannah was still awake. She was teething and generally feeling yucky. So, I took her to her room and we rocked in her chair. I tried the bottle, and she didn't want that. So then, I was singing "Jesus Loves Me" (that's our nighttime song), and she kept reaching up to touch my face, put her face on my face, kiss me, or lay her cheek on my face. It was the sweetest thing ever!

Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas is a dishwasher.

Love,

Jennifer

Little Muscle Man

This is the newest form of entertainment at our house. "Hannah, show me your muscles!"

The giggles are endless!!!

Random

Random reasons why I love my husband.....Tuesday Edition. :)

He listens as I blither on about Angie, NieNie, Mary....all my "blog sisters". I mean actually listens.

He washes laundry.

He goes to the grocery store for me.

He puts gas in my car.

He takes care of Hannah so Mommy can go and enjoy a night with the girls. He dresses her for bed, plays with her, cleans up after her, puts her to bed, and then shares stories with me about their evening together when I get home. :) So sweet.

He encourages me.

He considers me.

He texts me throughout the day, just because he misses me.

He prays for me.

He tells me I am beautiful.

He is a wonderful daddy.

He cooks for us.

He takes out the trash, empties the Diaper Genie and takes the trash can to the street for pick up day.

He helps me with the dishes.

He has mastered the art of actually asking your wife how you can help!!!

He loves me, and never lets a day go by without telling me so.



He picked me.

Perspective from total strangers

So, this weekend we went to a Christmas concert at Abundant Life. I expected to sing along to a few Christmas carols and chat with some old friends. What I did not expect was for God Himself to speak into my situation.

As I was sitting and listening, and wrestling my sleepy, busy 10 month old, Christina began to talk about going through trials. How we need not to "wish them away", but to allow our eyes to see what God is trying to do in our life. And how we need to embrace what happens to us, and let it hurt and DEAL WITH IT. Because if we don't deal with it, let ourselves grieve, let it overtake us for a little while-then we can't see the trial for what it is. It won't change us or cause us to grow-we will just stagnate. I can't remember her exact words, but this is what I got from what she was saying.

And so, I am no longer ashamed that I have allowed this hurt to wash over me and bring me to tears many, many times. That was a necessary part of the process. I will not feel shame if the tears come again...and again....and again. Each time that I grieve over this now, I will pray that God begin to show me the truth of the situation. Why did this happen, what was the purpose? What can I learn from this, what can I do differently? And what blessings is God going to bring through this trial? What blessings is He already bringing through this trial?

After the concert, I spoke to a friend who is a fellow educator. She was one of the few people who saw past the negatives of the situation, and just talked with me about the things that I am gaining from this trial. The amount of time I have been able to spend with Hannah, with Daniel and the rest of the family, the time I have been able to focus on our ministry and my relationship with God. I wouldn't have that if this had not happened. I also would not have the renewed sense of purpose in my life, the strengthening of my passion for education. I have such gratitude now for each moment spent in a classroom, every opportunity to teach, and to make a difference in a child's life.

Also, in reading Nie Nie's story today, I have received some much needed perspective. How each day, each moment is a choice. We can choose to be depressed and despondent, or we can choose to embrace every sweet (or bittersweet) moment of life. We can choose to be thankful for all the good things we have, instead of focusing on what we don't have. These are the things we forget when we are weighed down by the world and it's distractions. We forget to see how beautiful our lives really are. So, to these total strangers who really seem more like friends-thank you. Thank you for showing me how to hurt and how to move on, all at the same time.

Tuesday Thankfuls

1. Working at Satilla today.
2. Christmas party last night was so much fun.....yummy food, great company, fun presents.
3. Spending time with my babies last night.
4. I just finished reading Nie Nie's story from the AZ Republic. Inspiring.
5. Just a few more days until Christmas break.
6. Getting some things done yesterday after school.
7. Having time to get more things done after school today. :)
8. Youth Christmas party tomorrow night.
9. Another good night's sleep last night.
10. Hannah is standing up by herself. So, walking should be coming soon. Sad and happy about that one. She is growing up so fast!!

And...

Two more thankfuls....this picture......AND....Hannah Bug's 1st birthday party pack came in this weekend!!! :) :) :) SO SO CUTE.

Thankfuls

1. Satilla Marsh today.
2. And tomorrow.
3. Santa pictures, family pictures, Christmas shopping...this weekend was great!
4. Busy, busy week ahead.
5. Ladies' Christmas party tonight, riding with my sweet friend Anita.
6. Going home to my sweet Hannah girl in about an hour.
7. Great night's sleep last night.
8. Christmas concert this past Friday night....some of the things that were said really made me begin to see my situation in a different way...more on that later. And, I had a great conversation with a friend after the concert that continued to enlighten me. :)
9. My sweet, wonderful, helpful, supportive, adoring husband.
10. Christmas is right around the corner!

Friday

Thankfuls....

1. FRIDAY!!!!!
2. Christmas concert tonight.
3. I am working today, dunno yet if that's a Thankful or not....lol.
4. We are taking Christmas pics tomorrow, and going to meet Santa. And doing some Christmas shopping with Nana for Hannah, I think.
5. Getting to wear my favorite coat today because it's cooooooold.
6. Dinner last night with some of my favorite people on Earth.
7. Oyster roast/bonfire/whatever it is....tomorrow night at the church.
8. Hannah is doing well. We had a little bathtub mishap last night. Read: she ate soap. There was quite a stir in my house last night, as you can imagine.
9. Lots of yummy Christmas goodies got dropped off at my house by a sweet little Santa's helper. We usually just call her Mimi. :)
10. In a few short hours, I will go home to my sweet little family. They are such a blessing, it's ridiculous. They make life so sweet. Hannah and Daddy, I love you with all of my heart.

This Week

So, I tentatively begin this blog as I listen for peeps out of the little one's nursery. She was whining and rubbing her eyes, so I laid her in her crib. She has been protesting for a few minutes, but I think she is about to fall asleep now. Anyway, this week....

It has been a very different kind of week. I couldn't sleep Sunday night, so I didn't make it to sub Monday. I slept in, I mean REALLY slept in. Which for me is ten o'clock-but you know. Then, The H Bug and I went to Dr. G's for her flu shot, and had a little adventure at Wally World after. Then Monday night our little fam just hung out here at home. Tuesday, I subbed for a Special Ed Pre-K teacher, picked up Hannah from Mimi's after school, cooked dinner, and left Hannah with Nana so Daddy and I could go to choir practice. When we got home from choir, Little Tiny was still awake. We all laughed at that, played for awhile, and I finally got her to go to bed around ten.

Then, yesterday....I slept through a sub call. I jumped up at 8 o'clock, thinking that we had slept through the trash pick-up as well. We hadn't, but I am sure my neighbors enjoyed me running out to the street with our trash can-bed head, rumpled pjs, the whole nine yards. Daddy was off, so he and Hannah went to the bank to visit friends while Mommy got ready for the day. When they returned, we headed to the mall to buy a few Christmas gifts. I got Twilight Woods lotion, body cream, and body spray for Christmas! :) Then we had lunch at Sonny's....that was Daddy's idea-I had endless heartburn from it, but he was happy. After lunch, we headed to Wal Mart.....such a pattern in our lives with that place. We bought the food and gifts that we needed for the youth Christmas party next Wednesday. We had such fun doing that. We have discussed my love of planning, cooking, decorating, giving gifts before-so you understand. We came home and Hannah went down for a nap, so I decided to bake cookies. Then Daddy and I spent time together while I wrapped presents.

Last night, we had a wonderful church service. I don't know if anyone else thought it was wonderful, but God spoke to me and I was captivated. I needed to hear from Him, and it's so special at this time of year to feel His presence. And today, I didn't get any calls to sub, so here I am at home again. Hannah and I have played this morning, we are going out to pick up a few more things for the youth Christmas party after she wakes up, and then we are just going to hang out at home. Daniel and I are going to his work Christmas party tonight, and hopefully I will work tomorrow. After that, we are going to the Christmas concert at Abundant Life-our former church. Which means we will get to see most of our first church family. :) I don't want to say former church family, because they are definetely not that. And some of our current church family is going with us, which I am also really excited about.

So, this week has been very different.....and some people might think kinda bad. I do not agree, except for the financial part of it, since I haven't worked much. I think I really needed this time off. Last week was horrendous on so many levels, I spent a lot of time crying and felt very depressed. This week I have been able to get some things done, regroup, fellowship with my friends and family, spend time with the Lord, and just breathe. And God will take care of us financially, just like He always does. The time I have had for the most important things in my life this week cannot be replaced by any amount of money.

Lord, I thank You for this precious gift of time you have given me this week. I thank You for giving me time to slow down and appreciate this wonderful season for what it is. And I thank You for the gift of Your son, most of all. Help us to remember that Jesus is the reason for the season-and to celebrate Him.

Tuesday

1. Hannah's Christmas pics are scheduled for Saturday!
2. Working today.
3. Busy, full, fun week planned.
4. I am working at SME on Friday and Monday. :)
5. Hubs and I working together last night to get things accomplished at home. He's so great.
6. Time with Hannah yesterday....she got through her shot like a big girl!
7. Cooking dinner while listening to Christmas music and playing with Hannah.
8. Wrapping Christmas gifts....whenever I can get around to it....lol.
9. All of the Christmas parties we are going to this week and next.
10. Being blessed by God.

Thankful

1. I finally got that weekend rest that I was looking for....too bad it had to come at the cost of not working today.
2. Christmas/birthday shopping for Hannah.....SO MUCH FUN!
3. Family time we spent this weekend.
4. Lunch with friends yesterday.
5. Singing Christmas carols at church.
6. An unexpected gift that was given yesterday.
7. Supernanny....my newest obsession.
8. Seeing the Swains....I have missed them so much. And seeing them and knowing what they have gone through reminds me that I am not the only one who is hurting.
9. The bunch of compliments I got on how pretty I looked in my red sweater at church. I needed those.
10. Enjoying Christmas, but knowing that Jesus is the gift.

Friday

Thankful....

1. For girl time with Rachel yesterday.....she saved me from myself. :)
2. McDonald's and Dora the Explorer made up our evening last night.
3. Friday!!!!
4. Wearing my Christmas shirt.
5. Glyndale-1st grade
6. Great night's sleep
7. Parade tomorrow
8. SATURDAY
9. Having time to clean tomorrow while Hannah goes with Nana to Granny's house.
10. Hannah was awake before I left today.
11. Sleeping in tomorrow
12. Hannah's new book.

Thursday

Thankfuls....

1. Today is almost over....not a bad day, just tired and ready to go home.
2. It's Thursday.
3. We don't have anywhere to go tonight, and my mom is coming to watch Hannah for awhile so we can get some things done.
4. Tomorrow is Friday.
5. We are going to the Christmas parade this weekend.
6. It's my dad's birthday....I've GOT to remember to call him.
7. Got to see my buddies, the Taylors last night at church. I have missed them.
8. Jesus is my strength.
9. I get to go pick up Hannah girl in a few minutes. :)
10. It's gonna get better.

This has been another rough week. I don't know if it's just the tiredness from being so sick and then going straight back to work or what....but I am really struggling with job/financial/family situations. Prayers are appreciated!

Thankfuls

1. Church tonight.
2. Caffeine.....I don't know if I am awake YET! But, I just got some caffeine, hope it helps.
3. Nothing to do tomorrow night after work.
4. STERLING! :)
5. The wonderful second grade team I am working with today.
6. Christmas music.
7. A "nothing to do" weekend coming up.
8. It's Wednesday, we're halfway there.
9. Sweet, sassy, opinionated, grown-up Hannah. She is hilarious, endearing, busy, and SO MUCH FUN!
10. My wonderful husband...he tries with all of his might to be the best daddy/husband/partner that he can be. I love him, love him, love him.

And one more for good measure...in January I will finally have my last check-up for the blood clot situation, and I should be able to get off the meds for good!!!

Friends

So, I was thinking tonight....about why each friend in your life means so much to you. I realized that, at least for me, each friend brings something different to my life.

Nena reminds me to be sensitive to God's voice. She reminds me to be slow to speak, quick to listen. She reminds me how beautiful life is when you live it close to the heart of God.

Jennie makes me laugh. UNCONTROLLABLY. She makes me forget that things are what they are, and just giggle like a little kid. And she looks up to me, which makes me feel like who I am isn't quite so bad.

Anita is the one I talk shop with.....Mommy shop....lol. We talk about all the Mommy do's and don'ts....places to shop....things that we feel about our babies....how motherhood stacks up to other things in our lives.....how we do what we do with our crazy husbands next to us. :) She is also a friend who always makes me feel special. She just has that way about her, that she can make you feel like the most important person in the room when you are talking to her.

Rachel is another "Mommy friend". But Rachel also reminds me of the power of prayer. When she tells you that she will pray for you-take it to the bank. She means it, and she will pray with fervent expectation for your miracle.

These are my four closest girlfriends. And in case I don't say it enough, ladies-I thank God for each one of you. LOVES!

Tuesday

Thankfulness....

1. I am working at Altama....first grade. I am really starting to like this school. And this grade.
2. I think Hannah is getting better. I am getting better.
3. I got a lot accomplished last night.
4. Mom is coming over tonight to watch Hannah while we are gone to choir practice.
5. We are planning to take Hannah to the Christmas parade on Saturday.
6. Church tomorrow night...I feel like I haven't been to church in AGES! We didn't have Sunday night church the Sunday before Thanksgiving, nor choir or church last week. This past Sunday, I was sick.
7. Now that I am getting better, I can enjoy the holiday season. Have I mentioned that I love Christmas?
8. The Lord is encouraging me, and showing me how to encourage myself. And my wonderful husband helps in that way as well. I have to share this-we were having a heart to heart the other day, and I told him that I felt like I was being torn down. He reminded me that sometimes you have to be torn down, so that God can build you back up. How awesome was that? I love him. :)
9. We grocery shopped last night....I'm the weirdo who enjoys doing that. I just love buying things to make meals for my family, organizing the cabinets and freezer and fridge, cooking meals for them. I could SO be a stay-at-home mom and love every minute of it. I'll put that on my grown-up Christmas list. ;)
10. My extended family needs lots of prayer right now, but I am thankful that I have a family to pray for.

Apologies and such

Sorry I haven't been posting, but I got sick with THE MOST HORRIBLE stomach virus over the weekend. Hubs started with it Thursday, then oh-s0-lovingly passed it on to me.

Poor Hannah-I think I have now passed it on to her. Oh well, that's family life.

I will now post my thankfuls for the Thanksgiving Break/weekend/today.

1. I am getting over the stomach virus!!!
2. I was able to eat something besides saltines.
3. Thanksgiving was wonderful-food, family, fun. Hannah had a blast, saw lots of family, ate lots of new food. She was so precious and grown up in her little heart dress. I love her. :)
4. Hannah was worried about Mommy being sick...I heard numerous reports that all day long she kept saying "Mama, mama, mama". So sweet.
5. Hubs went to the store at 11 o'clock Saturday night to buy me Sprite and saltines. He's the best!
6. I am working today.
7. Mimi, Grandpa, Daddy, Hannah, and I went shopping for some of Hannah's Christmas gifts on Friday. I enjoyed that togetherness with the family and getting things for our baby. Great fun!
8. Nana and I also went shopping on Friday and got Hannah's first Christmas ornament and stocking.
9. We put up the Christmas tree on Friday, and Hannah's little eyes lit up as she saw all of the pretty colors and lights. I am really enjoying seeing this holiday through her eyes.
10. I spent the whole day in the bed yesterday sleeping, reading, and watching TV. The only downside was that I was sick as a dog and stayed up all night the night before throwing up and sweating/shivering. Oh well, count your blessings where you can find 'em. Merry Christmas, everyone!

Oops....forgot these!
11. My sweet Nena is now an aunt! Christian was born on Friday.
12. Hannah is now ten months old! Yesterday was her "birthday". Wow, where did the time go?

Why I Love Thanksgiving

Instead of making a thankfuls list, like I have been doing...I decided to post reasons why I love Thanksgiving. Probably won't be online very much tomorrow, since I will be enjoying all of these things. Happy Thanksgiving!

The weather finally turns colder.
The holiday feeling begins at this time and stays in the air until New Year's. I LOVE IT!
We cook something yummy for breakfast and watch the Macy's Parade.
Snuggle time with Hubs...we are both off work on Thanksgiving, and can enjoy being together.
This year is going to be the greatest Thanksgiving yet, since Hannah is here! She can join all of our annual traditions, and they will become her traditions. :)
We have lunch at Daniel's parents' house.
Cooking, baking-the smells and all of the eating....lol. Wonderful food, great desserts.
The sound of my family laughing.
All of my family being together in one house at one time.
Getting to see my fabulous grandmother.
The sound of a football game is in the background pretty much all day-a sound I grew up with. All of the great Christmas movies start coming on TV, and you hear Christmas music in all the stores.
A day set aside to remember how blessed we truly are, and give thanks for it. A day to rest and relax, and enjoy your family and friends.

Tuesday

Thankful...

1. Hannah got up before I went to work...again! I love it! :)
2. Hannah got a very nice "early Christmas gift" from a neighbor. It's a little "baby trike" that she can ride, and it makes noises and plays music....so cute! Their grandchild outgrew it, and they gave it to us.
3. Nie was on the Today Show today, I have recorded it....can't wait to get home and watch it.
4. Having a much better experience today with a school I worked at previously and didn't quite enjoy...lol.
5. Thanksgiving Break starts in about 5 hours!
6. I was able to bless someone yesterday with some much needed groceries, etc....I enjoy being able to do that so much!
7. I am really looking forward to the holidays this year.....it's so exciting with a little one. Even though I have always enjoyed the holidays.
8. Scott made it through his surgery yesterday.
9. My hubby crawled up in the bed and watched the final Jon and Kate Plus 8 with me last night. I know he didn't want to, he doesn't like the show. But, it was so sweet. He's the best.
10. My mom and brother are going to be at the house for dinner tonight. :)

How Great Is Our God

As for what I do for a job, I am searching. Life has handed me a hard pill to swallow, and Daniel and I are praying about where I go next. I was a teacher, and will always be one in my heart, butI am not sure where God wants to use me now, and I want to follow His path for my life.

I am hardly ever on Myspace anymore, but I just happened to pull up my profile on there and actually READ it. This was posted under my "About Me" section, where you usually tell about yourself, including what you do for a living. Well, after the job situation happened, I had changed my About Me to include that paragraph above. As I read it today, I was AMAZED at my clarity of mind in such a difficult time. I am still struggling through this, but I encouraged myself today, reading those words that I wrote all those months ago when the wound was still SO fresh. I was trusting God, no matter what came. Now, in the midst of some bad experiences of being treated as "second rate" because I am just a sub, bills that aren't paid, fears that have to be spoken to daily, and questions I don't know how to answer-I need to find that woman again. The one who KNEW God was going to show up in her situation. She knew that God had a plan and a purpose for her life, and she was willing to accept only that. The battle rages on, and sometimes it's hard to stand strong. But, today...I am reminded of an unwavering faith and trust in God. And of how great He is, and that at the blink of an eye-everything can change. It will happen-in His time, by His strength, for His glory. And I will be what He created me to be.

Monday

Thankful....

1. Worked at Sterling today.
2. Got off at 11:30.
3. Have had time to do some housework.
4. Having dinner at Mimi and Grandpa's house tonight...no cooking! :)
5. One more day til Thanksgiving Break.
6. Hannah and Mommy time in a few minutes.
7. Scott is healed.
8. Putting Christmas decorations up this week.
9. My family
10. My friends

Sunday Thankfuls

I don't usually post on Sundays, but I have been slacking some lately on blogging....and we didn't have church tonight.

Thankful....

1. Heritage Day was wonderful.
2. We have had a great weekend with friends and family.
3. We had family night tonight since there was no evening service at church.
4. Working at Sterling tomorrow.
5. 2 day work week
6. Thanksgiving on Thursday
7. Cuddling with Hannah as she fell asleep tonight.
8. Praising God at church today for all of our blessings.
9. All of the great books I am currently reading simultaneously. :)
10. For my wonderful, beautiful life.

Thursday

Thankful....

1. I am feeling better.....emotionally and physically....I can feel that you prayed for me. Thank you.
2. Hannah woke up before I left this morning....LOVE morning time with her, since I don't usually get it.
3. I got to work on time even after having time with Hannah. YAY!
4. Satilla, Satilla, Satilla....man, I love this place!
5. Nothing to do tonight.
6. Tomorrow is Friday.
7. I slept on the couch last night....but I SLEPT! And I slept well.
8. Again, thankful for my husband. He cooked dinner last night.
9. God's presence during praise and worship last night. WOW, how I needed that!
10. Yard sale this weekend, we are hoping to make some extra cash since we so desperately need it!

Wednesday

I am really going through it right now, guys. SO MUCH going on in my life, heart, mind, family. I feel heavy and tired and frustrated. Complacency and lack of motivation threaten to taken over. That is why I am not blogging much....that and because I haven't felt very well in the last couple of days. Here are some of the things I am thankful for, some of the things that are helping me to "get through".

1. Jesus
2. My husband.....I am the most blessed woman in the world to be married to him....can't even begin to tell ya. He's the best.
3. Hannah....she brings such joy to our home.
4. Friends who really care and really "get it".
5. Music
6. Books that strengthen my faith...including the Bible, definetely.
7. My mom....all I can say is....thank God for Mom. :)
8. Thanksgiving next week....which includes three days off from work to spend with my sweet little family....and my extended family.
9. I will be back at my home away from home-Satilla Marsh-for the rest of the week.
10. I am going to make it....I just know it....I am going to look back on these days and wonder what all the fuss was about....lol.

Monday Monday

Monday thankfuls....

1. I am at Sterling.
2. I am teaching second grade....familiar territory.
3. We had an AWESOME weekend.
4. I sang "Healed" at church last night for Scott, and I felt every word of it. God's presence was beautiful.
5. Nena surprised me at church last night, just came by to say hey. AWESOME!
6. My mom bought Hannah the Christmas dress that I have been wanting to get for her. And shoes and tights and a bow to match.
7. Mom is coming over tonight to play with Hannah while I start packing Hannah's things for her spend the night party at Nana's on Friday night.
8. God is good!
9. Pastor and Mrs. Linda *Mema and Poppy, as they are commonly known in our house* came to dinner last night. I love em!
10. I have a job for each day this week, and for the two days that we have school next week. YAY GOD!

There is an answer on the way

I posted those two songs to encourage myself (and possibly some of you). I have had a tough week. Oh, the pain...the pain. And most of it has been in an area where I have been attacked nonstop for months....hurt....confused.....humbled.....betrayed. I was in a really bad place yesterday. I kept asking God "Why?". And I haven't been doing that, I have been trusting Him. But when the hits keep coming, I gotta ask Him.
Where are you?! When will you help me? Why is this happening?
But this morning, I woke up singing songs about His provision, His love, His mercy. And the questions I have in my mind now are-God, what are You about to do? What is it that You have for me that is so good that You had me go through this HUGE trial? How are you going to show up in my life, and allow blessings to unfold that can only have come fromYou? How is Your glory going to be shown in my life this time?
I woke up feeling that He is about to do something so enormous for me that I am going to have trouble understanding it, just as I have trouble understanding what He is doing right now. He is going to do something that people will have to give Him glory for, because He is the ONLY one who could have done it. Thank you, Lord for giving me my faith back. I let it slip for a moment, but we're back now! :) I know You better than to think that You are just going to bring me out here and let me die. Thanks to those who listened to me and prayed with/for me yesterday. You're amazing and I love you. Here's a list of thankfuls since I have not been in a mindset to blog in the last few days. Have a great weekend!

1. It's Friday!
2. I got my joy back...thanks to my Jesus.
3. I am working for my friend Anne today. I love her so much. She was my mentor teacher while I was student teaching....she's the best. And she has so much faith in me.
4. Dinner and shopping with Mom....and my babies....tonight.
5. Family time with Daddy and Hannah this weekend.
6. The answer that is on it's way to me.
7. God's love and encouragement.
8. Saturday with no plans. The weekend in general.
9. Being at Satilla Marsh today. I LOVE IT HERE!
10. The victory that is coming to me and my family.
11. It's cold enough outside that I have been wearing my new clothes. :)
12. Hannah has FINALLY cut a tooth....actually, there are two coming in.

Every Prayer

I heard 'em say.
"He brought me from a mighty long way."
Now today I can testify that I believe it.
And on my way. I realize He's the one who kept me.
When the storms of life arise. Sleepless nights and desperate cries.
He has captured every tear. Assuring me. He hears.
EVERY PRAYER. WAITING ON THE ANSWER.
ONLY TO DISCOVER HE IS NEAR AND HE HEARS.
EVERY PRAYER. FOR HE HAS DONE GREAT THINGS AND.
I BELIEVE HE'S A GOD THAT ALWAYS ANSWERS PRAYER.
I heard 'em say. "The prayers of the righteous availeth much."
And now today I can testify that I believe it.
And on my way I want to let you know that He will keep you.
When the storms of life arise. Sleepless nights and desperate cries.
He will capture every tear.
Assuring you that He hears. Don't despise the tears you've cried.
Or the prayers that you have prayed. Heaven heard your every word.
And the answer's on the way. I heard 'em say. "There is an answer on the way."
My God has done so many great things. Great things.
Hold on and you will see oh. He has done great things.
And I believe He's a God who always answers prayer.

How He Loves

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane,
I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
And oh, how He loves us so,Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all He loves us,Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us, Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,Oh how He loves.
We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…
He loves us,Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,Oh how He loves. Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,Oh how He loves us,Oh how He loves.

Tuesday

Today I am thankful because...

1. There is no school tomorrow. Hannah, Daddy, and I will have some family time together.
2. I got a job for today, but also got to sleep in a little.
3. I am at one of my favorite schools....SES.
4. These first graders are precious.
5. It hasn't rained, so we should have recess today!
6. I got to see my baby girl before work today.
7. It's Tuesday, so my mom will be coming over.
8. I got some new clothes this weekend....only trouble is-they are all long sleeved shirts and it's hot again!!
9. I had a terrific burst of energy last night, so I got alot done around the house before I crashed.
10. I got to have some quiet time to myself last night.

Monday

Thankful List for Today

1. I have a job for today.
2. I may have some future jobs coming out of this one.
3. I have another possible long term position.
4. I saw one of my old instructors from AASU, and she bragged about what a great educator I am. :)
5.I got a good night's sleep.
6. Church was wonderful yesterday.
7. I get to have quality time with my little one tonight.
8. I bought some great new books yesterday with my BAM gift card, can't wait to dive into them.
9. God is still working on me.
10. Scott is healed.

Birthday Thankfuls

I needed to do a totally seperate list of thankfuls for my birthday. Here goes....

14 million text messages...Daniel texted everyone he knows and told them to text me
Facebook shout outs
Phone calls...one in particular from my dad....it meant the world to hear his voice on my special day
Birthday cards...hubs' card made me cry....Hannah "signed" her card :)
A particularly special lady "blogging" about me and my birthday
The dinner that hubs and the grandmas cooked for me
The surprise chocolate cake Daniel ordered and brought home for me
BAM gift card from Hannah :)
Feeling God's presence
Lunch with hubs
Cuddle time with Hannah...her laugh, her smile, her sweet smell, and her warm little body cuddling as close as she could to mine
Knowing that the birthday fun isn't over.....we are headed to Jax with a couple friends tomorrow for dinner and....whatever!

It's Finally Friday!

Thankfuls for Friday....

1. My absoutely RIDICULOUS birthday yesterday. I say ridiculous because of how great it was.
2. Today is FRIDAY and hubs and I have no plans tonight other than to hang out together and cuddle with our precious baby girl.
3. We are going to Olive Garden tomorrow.
4. I get to go book shopping at BAM, since I got a gift card for my bday.
5. We have leftover food from last night's dinner, so I don't have to cook tonight!
6. God is amazing.
7. I feel deep in my soul today that I am meant to be a teacher. And someday soon, I will have my chance again.
8. We are going to Jax tomorrow, and because of my wonderful friends and family-I have money to spend at the mall. :)
9. I have the most amazing husband on this Earth. It would take a lot of typing to tell you everything that he did to make my day special yesterday, but it was perfect. Thank you, baby.
10. I am soaking up life and getting every bit of good I can get out of it. God is teaching me how. Did I mention He is amazing?

Thursday..wow, I am slackin' lately

Thankful....

1. That today is my birthday and I am working at one of my favorite schools...SES.
2. For the warm biscuit I had for breakfast...yummy.
3. Mom's birthday call this morning, hubby waking up to tell me "Happy Birthday"-then falling quickly back to sleep...lol.
4. The Lord greeting me with His presence this morning, His way of celebrating my day. :)
5. Tonight's dinner with family.
6. Getting to see Josh yesterday, he is home for awhile.
7. The great night's sleep I got last night.
8. LOTS of birthday wishes on Facebook.
9. Getting to be off yesterday and spend lots of good cuddle time with my precious girl. I miss her SO MUCH more today because of it, though. Also gave me a chance to reflect on what a great year this has been in sooooo many ways.
10. Tomorrow is FRIDAY!

Thankful

Since I have not posted in awhile, I will do more than just my regular ten "thankfuls". Sorry that I haven't posted lately, but I have been WAY too busy and WAY too tired.

1. Not having to work tomorrow.
2. Daddy Cooks Monday becoming a weekly tradition.
3. Birthday week...lol. Being off tomorrow, Thursday night dinner with family, Saturday trip with friends.
4. My "night-night conversations" with Hannah.
5. My sweet birthday card from my grandmother.
6. The GREAT night's sleep I got last night.
7. Getting to "sleep in" tomorrow....as long as my baby girl wants to sleep, that is.
8. The peace and quiet of our house right now....no phone, dishwasher, washing machine, dryer, TV. No....our power is not out....I am just enjoying the quiet. :)
9. My mom coming over and helping with Hannah Bug even though choir practice was cancelled.
10. Hubby helping me wash the dishes tonight.
11. The wonderful weekend we just had....Hannah's first Halloween was wonderful, and we enjoyed time with friends.
12. I am feeling better.....Sunday I was feeling very sick and was afraid I was coming down with something.
13. Having time tonight to rest, reflect, recharge.
14. God's provision for us....He is more than enough.
15. Wonderful, wonderful gifts from God.....our precious family and sweet, thoughtful friends.
16. How working with children can give you insights about yourself. How your own child can do the same.
17. God's presence.
18. God's love...and His faithfulness...and the joy that knowing Him brings.

Precious

Today....

1. Thankful for the precious kids I taught this morning-1st graders....good ones....lol.

2. Working for my aunt and getting to talk to her....having a great day.

3. Plans for tonight....fun!

4. Getting my haircut today.

5. Friday!!!

6. Trunk or Treat.....food, fun, pictures, friends, kids, costumes, face paint, candy. I know it's considered by some to be the "devil's holiday". I just consider it a fun Fall celebration....and the kids love it!

7. GA/FL game....lots of food, fun, friends. And hopefully a win by our Dawgs.

8. Finally sorting out insurance stuff.

9. My nine month old baby, she turned 9 months old yesterday....can't believe she is that old!!!

10. God....who gives all good things to us.

Thursday

Thankful for....

1. Having a job today...I didn't think I was going to have one.
2. Hannah, sitting next to me, eating a snack. Greatest.kid.ever.
3. Dinner on it's way to our house.
4. Friends on their way to our house.
5. The fact that tomorrow is Friday.
6. Saturday's plans.
7. Payday tomorrow.
8. Regular phone conversations with my dad becoming a "regular" occurrence.
9. Fall
10. Happiness....never want to take that for granted.

Wednesday

Thankfulness.....

1. Church tonight.
2. The absolutely beautiful, encouraging word that God spoke to me through a dear friend this morning.
3. ^^^^^^^^^Friends like that....lol.
4. This coming weekend.
5. Getting to see my brother last night.
6. My mom buying dinner for us last night.
7. Getting together with NENA tomorrow night. Beautiful, wonderful woman of God. I am so blessed to have her as a friend.
8. Grocery shopping/Hannah shopping/Trunk or Treat and GA/FL shopping this Friday....you know how I like to take care of folks. :)
9. My present and past....(and future-Hallelujah!) students...one of my most precious gifts from God-my calling to teach. God's gonna do it, folks. I KNOW!
10. Beauty for ashes, strength for fear, gladness for mourning, peace for despair.

Today

I am thankful for...

1. Seeing all of my Goodyear friends and "babies".
2. Today being almost over....very challenging day.
3. Hannah waking up before I left this morning....had some snuggle time with my precious one. :)
4. God being in control.
5. My upcoming haircut...I have been anxiously waiting to be able to afford my favorite hairdresser again. :)
6. My birthday and all of the special things we have planned.
7. This coming weekend....a carnival and GA/FL game....doesn't get much better than that.
8. Let me say this one again.......Daniel cooking dinner last night so that I could get things done....wonderful!
9. Getting things done last night so that I could spend time with my two favorite ppl-I wonder who that is? The two names you see ALWAYS on this blog.
10. The realization I came to today that the "peace that passes all understanding", that the Bible talks about-I HAVE IT! :) Through this trial, God has given me peace. People are dumbfounded by it. I am dumbfounded by it! There is no logical reason that I should have peace, but somehow-I do.

Today was my last day at Satilla. I almost cried when the busses drove away. I have been almost crying a lot today though...lol. Almost cried when I was dealing with insurance mess, almost cried when the kids left, almost cried when I found the PERFECT!! first birthday theme for Hannah. Anyway, I am going to miss this place, miss my kids. It was so, so sweet....one of the busses stopped, and several of my kids were on it. They kept yelling "Bye, Mrs. Castor!". I guess they will miss me, too. Evidently not where God wants me right now, though. I will keep praying and looking for the time when God decides to move in an even bigger way than He already has. It's on it's way.

Hope everyone has had a wonderful Monday. More updates as they come. :) Now just looking forward to going home and getting ready for tomorrow while hubs cooks dinner for me....can't wait!

Monday

I am thankful for this past weekend because of....

1. The beach concert
2. Mom cleaning my house
3. A long talk that hubs and I had about improving our relationship.
4. Being with friends
5. Church services yesterday
6. Mother/Daughter trip to Target with Hannah yesterday
7. Mom cooking lunch for us and then she and Daniel's mom cleaning the kitchen :)
8. Time with Daniel last night
9. I sang that song last night at church...the one I posted a week or so ago. It was wonderful.

And for today....
10. Malachi's birthday!
11. Daniel is cooking dinner tonight.
12. I woke up on time and was able to get ready for work w/o rushing.
13. It's Red Ribbon Week and we get to do all kinds of silly stuff to show the kids that we are against drugs. :)
14. I have a great life full of wonderful people. HAPPY MONDAY!

YAY!

I am so excited. I just put together a little "date night" for me and Hubs. We cooked spaghetti last night for dinner, and then my mom bought us food. So, tonight we will have leftovers....no cooking! Then, once Hannah goes to bed-we are FINALLY going to watch The Proposal! I forgot that I won a free RedBox rental at McDonald's one time. So, dinner and a movie-old married couple style! :) Seems pathetic to some I am sure, but for us to have any kind of "date" is wonderful. Have a great weekend, everybody!

Friday

I am thankful for....

1. FRIDAY....seriously, is there a better day of the week? Although, I do love my Sundays.....
2. Getting to bed early(ish) last night.
3. The feeling I have that today is going to be a good day.
4. Beach concert tomorrow!
5. "Teacher friends"
6. My family, who I am going to have LOTS of time with this weekend. :)
7. FINALLY having time to go and get the oil changed in my car tomorrow.
8. My mom cleaning my house tomorrow.
9. My upcoming birthday and all the fun we are going to have that weekend.
10. Hannah's first Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year, birthday....all coming up. We have so much to look forward to.

Really

This is my "real" ten thankfuls list for today. I am going to share some Hannah a.k.a. "Leroy" moments. I call her Leroy when she is being really silly or fussy....it's a mother/daughter thing. ;)

If you're not a Mommy, this post may bore you...if you are a Mommy...you will enjoy it, I hope!

1. Taking time to sit and read with Hannah when her new book came in yesterday.
2. Our afternoon walks together, and the smile I received on our walk yesterday.
3. Mimi told me this one.....Hannah's sock "disappeared" AGAIN, and Mimi asked her where it went. She promptly responded "Doggy?". She totally blamed Corky for her missing sock!!
4. Hannah and I were playing on the floor the other day, and she kept saying "go, go go". Then she started crawling away from me and said "bye!". :)
5. So thankful for all the pictures I have of Hannah's first year.
6. This morning, when I went into Hannah's room. As I said before, I always check on her before I leave. It was very dark in her room, and I couldn't really see her. When I did see her, I was shocked and amused by what I saw. Somehow, that little bug had come out of her diaper, and her little hiney was shining for the world to see!! LOL
7. I am thankful that my child finds comfort with me. She fell asleep in the car last night when we were leaving church, and when we got home she woke up. She had the most horrible look of fear on her face when she woke up (it was very dark), until I started talking to her. Then she was fine, and began falling asleep again!
8. Hannah's vocabulary. She now says "go", "hey", "bye", "doggie", "Mama", and "Mimi". Some of them she has said once and not again....some she says every day.
9. Hannah's development...she is SO smart and reaching SO many milestones. I never want to take that for granted. Having Anslie and Abby in my life have taught me not to.
10. I am so, so thankful that God chose me to be a mom. And not just any mom-Hannah's mom.

Thank You

This post is for a both a rant and a praise report....lol. Can you do both of those at the same time? Well, I am. You know how something frustrates you so much that you just have to "say" it, or in this case-type it. And then you will feel better? Here goes. THANK YOU every slow moving vehicle in Glynn County for getting in front of me this morning. I drove 25 miles an hour behind busses, lawn equipment, trucks pulling boats, log trucks, and semis!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

....I feel better now.

The second "thank you" is a real one....lol. I am thanking God....for how He ministered to me after my post yesterday afternoon. Hannah and I went out for a walk, and were stopped by a neighbor bearing "gifts". She gave us baby food and clothes for Hannah. She has a granddaughter a little older than Hannah, so they share with us.....what a blessing! Then, we checked our mailbox, and another book had come in from the Ferst Foundation. (I know that is spelled wrong, take it up with them....lol). I know this doesn't seem like much, but reading meant a lot to me as a kid, and I want Hannah to find joy in reading as well. These books are totally free, and are sent to you for the first year of your child's life. I think that is awesome. To know that parents who really want their children to read, but can't afford to buy books, will still be able to read with their kids. Fabulous.
And then as we walked, the wind was blowing really hard, and I stopped to check on Hannah to be sure it wasn't bothering her. She looked up at me with her beautiful eyes squinted at the sun, and smiled the biggest smile I have ever seen. It was so sweet that I literally laughed out loud. Again-doesn't seem like much, but it meant the world to me. Then when we got home, my mom called and said she was buying us dinner so I wouldn't have to cook before church. "AMEN!" was all I could say to that. So, here is my thankfulness list for now. I don't know that there are ten things here, but the ones that are here were MAJOR blessings for me yesterday. Thank You, Lord for showing up just when I needed you the most.

Transparency

Transparency. In it's simplest definition it means to see through something. But, I mean transparency today as getting real. So for this post, I am gonna be really "real". I am going to talk about something that I don't usually talk about because it's not "glamorous" or maybe it's not "acceptable". I have been doing so well, having faith, being strong. But I am struggling today. It started yesterday with the constant barrage of "stuff" in life. I was just ill, as I usually call it. By the time I got off work, I could not even be bothered to wait in line for a parking spot at Wal Mart. I was just DONE. And today, I felt it again. The swirling, the questions, the wondering, the fear, the sadness. What's gonna happen, Lord? What are You going to do about this?

I have been reading a lot of blogs about women who have gone through major personal tragedy. Today I asked myself why I was so involved with these stories and the answer came back so clear from the Spirit. You have been through a tragedy, too. But these other women went through a personal tragedy that was actually very public. Other people knew about it, felt it, were effected by it greatly. Mine is more private, it doesn't effect other people. Daniel and I stand alone in our fear, heartache, uncertainty. It's this personal cross that we are bearing in silence....silence except for the constant sound of the phone calls we can't answer. And it hurts. We are holding together, clinging to God's word like it's a life raft and we are about to be swept out to sea. We KNOW that if God doesn't intervene, we will drown.

But does the fact that it's more private make it better or worse than what those women went through? I am not sure. And so I ask that you pray for my family's financial situation. I know that because we give constant praise reports, everyone thinks we are all "hunky-dory". We give those praise reports because we are thankful for the love, prayers, gifts, surprises, etc. that we have received. And because we have faith that God is going to get us through this, even when we can't see how. So, I find myself feeling like my "blog sisters", as I have affectionately called them. Hurt, angry, sad, blaming myself-as though I could have done something to make this situation different. But I can't "fix" my life the way I want to. I have to trust God and know that He has got it all under control. But today, my flesh is crying out against this trial and saying I can't do this anymore. So again, please lift us up in prayer today. It means so much to me to know that people pray for my family. Thank you.

Today

Today I am so physically tired, I almost didn't make it to work. Not sure what's going on with that, but please pray for me.

I am thankful for....

1. The colors I saw in the sky this morning as the sun was beginning to rise.
2. The amount of time it takes me to drive to Satilla....gives me time to think and pray before I begin my day.
3. Hannah's sweet face as she slept this morning (I go in and look at her every day before work).
4. The beach concert this weekend.
5. One of my birthday gifts that is going to be given this weekend....my mom is cleaning my house! YAY!!
6. The time I have had here at Satilla, it has meant so much to me. Sad to see it end this week.
7. That He is stronger than my sin, He's the cure for my disease, He is more than enough for me. I was listening to Israel Houghton this morning. ;)
8. The fact that I was able to get up and come to work despite how I felt...God must have been standing behind me, pushing me out the door.
9. Church tonight.
10. Malachi is coming next week!! (My friend Anita is being induced next week)

CRAZY!

I was three different people today. First, I was me....doing my typical morning breakfast duty. Then, I was a CoGat proctor in 1st grade. Then, I had to sub for a 4th grade teacher who went home sick. Around 12 o'clock, I developed the worst headache. I am ready to take some medicine and hide under the covers. Wild, crazy day! But, thank God for a job, and a purpose in my life. :)

Thankful

I am thankful for...

1. My husband helping me cook dinner and then washing the dishes while I bathed Hannah and put her to bed.
2. Sleep....I actually slept last night!
3. Knowing that He is mine and I am His
4. Worship music
5. Cool weather
6. I made an appointment to get my haircut next week...cannot wait. :)
7. Health
8. Family
9. Love
10. The move of God I see in my life. I am not sure what He is doing, but I know He is doing something. I am so excited to see the fruits of it.

How Deep the Father's Love for Us

I have not heard this song in years, but it keeps playing over and over in my mind today. I thought I would share.

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory
Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished
I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Wow

Student to me this morning-"Are you losing weight?"

Now, you would have to know this child...I know you are thinking he was brown nosing. This child does not know how, nor would he care to if he did know how. He does not like school or teachers very much at all. So, for him to saythat-I knew it was genuine.
I guess the walking and watching what I eat are paying off already.

L.T., today you are definetely my favorite student! :) You certainly brightened my Monday!

What a weekend!

Hubs' birthday weekend was fabulous! No pictures, we just soaked up every moment of our time together!

Here's my list of things I am thankful for....

1. Friday night football with friends and my wonderful hubby
2. Cuddling with Hannah as I rock her to sleep in our warm house on a cold night
3. Cuddling with hubby on the couch...no TV, no computer, no radio...just us. :)
4. Seeing the smile on my husband's face as we sat around our kitchen table with friends and family-and celebrated him.
5. Warm banana nut muffins on a cold morning
6. The Father's love
7. How clear the Scriptures are....how you can FEEL them...when you finally realize they are for you
8. Singing one of my favorite songs with one of my best friends at church last night....and not just hearing the harmony, but feeling it.
9. Being so in love with God that I couldn't sing yesterday morning, I just stood and wept over His goodness
10. Hannah's squeal as we walked into the bedroom on Saturday morning with Daddy's birthday-breakfast-in-bed tray. PRICELESS!

Want For The Day

I really, desperately, anxiously want a day to myself to clean, de-junk, and organize my house/life...lol. I would just say house, but my car needs help as well. Pray for me that I will have that day soon...although I hope I won't waste it by goofing off on Facebook and painting my toenails and watching episodes of my favorite shows on DVR because I never have time to do that. Wait, would that really be "wasting" a day.....? Happy Friday, everybody!

Thank You for

Thank You for....

1. Friday-I NEED the weekend, so tired!
2. Making it to work safely in this stormy weather.
3. My cell phone alarm-never would have woken up without it today.
4. Dinner and football game with friends tonight.
5. Satan trying to cloud my mind this morning. That sounds like a strange thing to be thankful for, but it seems that each time he tries to bring doubt and fear into my mind-God's blessings are RIGHT around the corner.
6. The peace and freedom that comes from trusting in God and His promises.
7. Caffeine-a "must have" this morning.
8. Being warm and dry in my classroom instead of being stuck out in the weather.
9. Hubby's birthday tomorrow.
10. Sunday is coming. :)

My mom

I love my mom. There are alot of reasons why I am posting this blog, but I just felt it was important to share this tonight. She has always been my security as the world and it's storms raged. Mom would be there, she would be the same. I learned to put my trust in God years ago, and I have a lot of trust in my husband as well....but there's still that special place for Mom. She loved us *and still does* with a ferocity unlike anything I have ever seen. She has taken a lot of criticism (much like how I am sometimes criticized for the way I mother Hannah) for how fiercely and protectively she cared for us, but she never stopped. Her love for us has been unyielding...no matter what we have said, what we have done.

She was the one who taught me about unconditional love. She will tell you that she hasn't been a very good mother, but I can tell you this-I never wondered if she loved me....NEVER. I never wondered if I had a place in her home, I never wondered if she was glad that I was born. She has celebrated my life, each and every day. And she has inspired me to be that strong, loving, ROCK of a woman for my daughter. So, Mom-tonight I am thankful for you. How you love me, how you care for me, how you pray for me. How you love my daughter and take care of her just the way you always took care of me....and you still do. Thank you.

And...

I am thankful for a few more things....

My mood is lifting as I think about spending time with Daniel and Hannah tonight. :)
Grocery shopping tonight...I am probably one of the few people in the world who actually ENJOYS that. I just love taking care of my family, planning meals, cooking for them....makes me happy.
The sun is beginning to shine.
There is a nice breeze outside.
I reached that unreachable student today....can't say what tomorrow will bring, but for today....

Thursday List

Today I am thankful for...
1. The yummy toast and spreadable fruit I had for breakfast.
2. Last night's wonderful church service.
3. Extra sleep...I overslept today, and I am trying not to let it mess up my day!
4. Seeing Dawn this weekend and her jewelry reminding me of my precious "Hannah" necklace in my jewelry box. I dug it out and I am wearing it proudly today. I am so proud of my Hannah!
5. Hannah's smile
6. Friday!
7. Friday night football game with hubby and friends :)
8. The rain that is coming...again!
9. The sink full of dishes I have to go home and wash...at least I have a family to mess up the dishes!
10. For my life and how happy my family makes it.

Also...

I am also thankful for these lovely sisters in the Lord I am "meeting" through online blogs. I have read about how these women faced some of the greatest fears that Mommies have, and still survive! Thrive at that. And it makes me grateful. Grateful that I have a beautiful, healthy daughter, grateful that I can take care of her, grateful for the relationship that we have. I read as one mom described simply being able to pick up her child again, and what joy it brought. She felt like a mommy again for the first time in a long time. And I sat and read that and BAWLED. How blessed am I that I get to be a mommy to Hannah each and every day? Even when it's hard, even when it's thankless and messy and tiring....I GET to be a mommy to her. I get to love her, nurture her, watch her grow and blossom. I don't have to miss large chunks of time with her because of some awful tragedy that I went through that rendered me helpless. Or like my other blogger mom friend-who lost the child that she carried in her womb for all those months. To lay eyes on that child, hold that child, and feel the joy that comes with a new life....and then to have to give her back to God that same day!? I could go on and on, but the point is-God, I am grateful. Thank You for giving me life, and for making it good. I am SO unworthy of your countless blessings. You are Jehovah, and I worship You.

Thankful

Today I am thankful for...

1. Cooler weather
2. Last night's dinner that I didn't have to cook.
3. A fun, successful choir practice.
4. Hubby's birthday weekend that we are busily planning.
5. Spending time with Hannah after work yesterday....we went for a 1 mile walk! :)
6. Our friends
7. Our family
8. Organization....I am SO working on getting us back to it!
9. Tomorrow-payday!
10. The peace I feel knowing that God is in control.

I Can Feel It

*SQUEAL*....I can feel it. Fall is in the air. There is a nice little breeze this afternoon, just a faint whisper of cooler weather to come. I can't wait!

Tuesday Thankfulness

Today I am thankful for...

1. Our great vacation....staycation, I mean
2. new David Crowder Band cd
3. church last night
4. four day week :)
5. Being able to shop for Hannah yesterday
6. God's grace
7. my hubby
8. All the great photos we took this weekend.
9. Finally making it to work....I overslept a little today and then could NOT get moving!
10. My friend Jennie being okay....she got into an accident this week and is in a lot of pain, but she is still here!

Friday Ten

Thankful for....

1. Beauty for ashes
2. Strength for fear
3. Gladness for mourning
4. Peace for despair
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Just had that scripture in my heart today and thought it was appropriate for this.
5. FRIDAY!
6. Long weekend to enjoy with family at the beach
7. My husband buying dinner last night so I didn't have to cook....and he went to the store for me....and he helped me clean/pack. LOVE HIM! :)
8. God's presence that I feel when I praise Him
9. My cute leopard ballet flats that I just resurrected. I dunno if they are still in style or not, but I sure LOVE 'EM!
10. Hearing God's voice first thing in the morning....great start to my day.

Why try?

I was so grieved in my soul last night as I was reading Facebook updates and what not. People who try to "explain" or "explain away" God's miracles irk me so bad! I was prompted to post "Some things that God does cannot be explained. So why try?" And then I just went to bed. I have deleted people in the past when I have seen things like that on their Facebook pages. It's not that I am trying to be rude or self-righteous or anything else, but I don't want doubt filling my mind! I don't want people to try to convince me that my God isn't real, because it makes me want to argue with them, and we aren't supposed to do that. But, I realized today-I don't have to argue with them. They can watch my life, my family, my friends, my church....and see how real He is. His blessings are not "coincidences", they are manifestations of His love on the Earth. Yes, PEOPLE make those blessings come about sometimes, but who do we think gave those people the idea to give or love or share? Certainly not Satan!
So, just as I said they should not try to explain away His ways or His reasoning or His timing, I need not "explain" His blessings and His love. Just let it be seen. "That your conduct be honorable among the people, that they will see your good works and glorify your Father in Heaven." Peter 1

Thursday Ten

Today I am thankful for...

1. Thridays! :) Today is Thursday that is kind of like a Friday, we have no students tomorrow-but we do have to work.
2. Chocolate....yeah, it's that kinda day already ;)
3. Eddie James Ministries....to get me singing and dancing when I am this tired is quite an accomplishment.
4. The Holy Spirit...He already met with me this morning
5. Expectation....can't wait for this weekend.
6. Ppl who sow into my life by helping me with Hannah so I can accomplish the OTHER things I have to do each day.
7. Laughter
8. Friends
9. Facebook....keeps me up to date with everyone.
10. Friday :)

Today

Today I am thankful for.....

1. God's faithfulness
2. God's kindness
3. Rest and relaxation...coming very soon! :)
4. Two reliable vehicles
5. Little gifts from God each day...some ppl call them coincidences, I call them blessings!
6. My family....can't stop listing that one!
7. The sound of the rain on the rooftop...makes me feel secure and happy.
8. Wednesday night service
9. Pictures....love capturing those precious memories forever.
10. This great book series I am reading....The Mark of the Lion series by Francine Rivers....unconditional love at it's best!

Thankful

Today, I am thankful for....

1. teaching (and teacher friends)
2. clothes to wear
3. food to eat
4. God's word
5. music
6. God's love
7. shelter (and a very comfy bed)
8. God's provision
9. the ocean
10. my new BlackBerry cell phone

Something Beautiful

Good morning, friends. I was able to get on really quickly this morning and share my thankfulness list, but I didn't get to share about my weekend. Nothing went as I had planned it, but that was the best part about it! Friday after work, Hannah and I went for a walk. My phone rang, and it was Express. They had a job for me, just for Saturday-nine dollars an hour working in an office. We need that money desperately, so I took it. So, I had to run over and get the key to the place, and go by Express and get my timecard. *It was kinda funny going to something that was sort of like a job orientation with your child in tow. She had a blast, though.* Then I got home and got things ready to go to the Sloan house for dinner. We had a wonderful time visiting with them, I am going to miss them so much when they move this month.
Saturday morning I got up and wished that I could stay home with my baby girl. But, I went and it was fine. An extra paycheck is always a blessing! Saturday night was chaotic. I got home and started cooking dinner for Jennie and myself, Daniel left for the oyster roast and Hannah began crying and whining in her high chair. I felt like the picture of the harried mom. So, poor Jennie came in and had to deal with my foul mood. I got everyone fed, and decided Hannah was ready for bed. She went to sleep by 7:30!!! She has been so exhausted lately, I guess it's the teething. Anyway, again-poor Jennie. She had to sit in our living room and wait for me to finish taking care of Hannah. We had a nice visit though, and got some things decided for the Trunk or Treat and other children's events we are planning.
Sunday morning, we overslept for church. Chaos, hurry, run! We got there on time, but there was SUCH tension and oppression in the air. We had to stop practice and pray several times. I even had a little miny meltdown. It was just rough, people! A couple of hours later, we found out why. We had one of the most awesome services I have ever been a part of at Ministry Center. The Lord moved and touched people in the way that only He can. It was wonderful! Then we had an unexpected blessing-no church last night. There is a problem with the water at the church, so that was unfortunate-but a night off was just what I needed. I also didn't have to cook, because Chris invited us over for lunch yesterday, and we had leftover spaghetti *from girls' night with Jennie* to eat for dinner. Then I had another night where I couldn't fall asleep, but that's okay. I am going into this week with a new determination to live every day for God and find His blessings in as many situations as I can.
I am also determined to get ALOT done, because we are going to be staying with Dad and Dawn and some more of the family on St. Simons this weekend. Packing for Hannah to go anywhere is a big job, so I have a lot to do to get our family ready to stay somewhere else for the weekend. I am so excited about this time together with my dad and the rest of the family though! What a wonderful blessing!
It was so sweet to me the thought that came to mind yesterday. After we had that wonderful service, and I just KNEW that my Heavenly Father had shown up, I sat and thought about my earthly Father. And I thought about how much I want to see him and how I can't wait until he gets here. In that moment, I just wanted to feel my earthly Father wrap his arms around me the way I had felt my Heavenly Father do that morning. And in a few more days, I will get my wish! Despite all that we've been through, my dad and I have a great relationship. I love him so much and I am so grateful to have him in my life. Dad, if you read this-I love you very much and I am so blessed to call you "Dad".

Thankful

I am "following the leader". :) My stepmom Dawn is creating a list of ten things she is thankful for each day. I am doing the same.

1. my relationship with God
2. the country I live in (we have our problems, but we still have alot of freedoms that other countries don't!)
3. my daughter
4. my husband
5. my relationship with my parents (Dawn and Billy, I include you on that list)
6. my relationship with my husband's parents
7. my home
8. my church
9. my friends
10. my job

TGIF

I am at work, and taking a breather during my planning time. It has been a BUSY day-as Fridays always are. I am really enjoying working full time in a school again (especially Satilla Marsh-BIG GRIN), but I am not feeling well and I am SO tired. So, I am glad that it is Friday. Tonight we are having dinner with our precious friends, The Sloans. Tomorrow we have a baby shower to decorate, cook for, and attend(so excited to meet Malachi in a few weeks!) and tomorrow night the men are having an oyster roast at the church. Jennie, Hannah, and I are going to have a girls' night at my house. :) I am looking forward to some fun and relaxation this weekend.
What I am really looking forward to though is next weekend! I have LOTS of family coming into town, and I cannot wait to see them. Hannah is eight months old and hasn't met most of this part of the family. I also get to meet my precious little brother Marc for the first time!! We are going to be staying at a beach house on St. Simons for the whole weekend. How wonderful! Even though it's close to home, it will still feel like a vacation to me-since I haven't been on vacation in years! So, I probably won't be posting much these next few weekends because I will be too busy enjoying my wonderful friends and family. Blessings to all!

Something Good

I don't know what it is, but I just feel this MAJOR expectancy that something good is about to happen to me. I think it's my faith rising up in anticipation of God's blessings coming. I cannot WAIT to see what He is going to do. We have been through so much this year, but it has been amazing how my faith has been strengthened. I asked God a long time ago to make me a woman of faith, more so than I was. I knew I loved Him and served Him, but I wanted stronger faith in His ability to take care of me. He is giving me that.

When I went through all of the health problems....from the dizzying headaches....to the blood clot....to the scarlet fever.....and the back issues.....I had fear some of that time. Actually with the blood clot, there was ALOT of fear. But then towards the end (coincidence?.....no) of all the sickness I just said to Him-"God, heal me...I know you can." And that was that. My body was under strain, but my faith has been strengthened through that.

When I lost my job, I was scared, angry, confused, humbled, humiliated....etc.....etc. But through that ordeal, He has shown me more of who He is than I ever thought possible. He has taken me out of my comfort zone, shown me that I can take it day by day and be just fine. He has shown me that He can care for and provide for my family...He doesn't need my help! I always had to have a plan, had to be in control. But God is showing me that HE CAN handle my life...much better than I can. He knows me and He loves me, and as my friend Joey says "He's got it in the bag". This post may seem really random, but God is just blowing my mind right now. The thoughts (and the excitement) are coming quicker than I know how to express. So folks, hold on for the praise reports...there are many more coming!

You Are Loved

Okay, I should soooo be in bed. But as I was getting ready to go to bed, I had a thought that blessed me so much that I wanted to share it. So, the next time you Mommies are feeling guilty because everything is not "just so" for your children...remember this post.

My child may not have the nicest house in the world. Our house might not always be spick and span. Mommy may sometimes forget (or intentionally avoid) doing the dishes. There may be loads of laundry waiting to be washed, and tubs and sinks that need to be scrubbed. She might not have the most expensive clothes or lots of new toys.

But, she has love. She has a family who would lay down their lives for her. She has food, shelter, clothing. She has a place to lay down her head at night. She has parents who love her, laugh with her, hold her, sing to her, pray for her. She has more than some children will ever dream of. In this world of neglect and abuse, she has security and peace. That is what I owe to my daughter, and that is what I give her. It gave ME such peace to hear God say that to me. You are giving your daughter exactly what she needs. She doesn't care if the house is neat and tidy, or if the refrigerator is clean. She cares about your love for her, and she has that. So, I end the day knowing that my daughter is taken care of and blessed. And that makes me happy. :)