I Miss My Friend

Tonight is the Relay for Life. Hannah and I went to have lunch with Daddy at his "Promotion Party" at work. We drove down Altama on the way back because I was planning to stop at Winn Dixie. We were sitting at the red light next to the fairgrounds, and I saw the signs for Relay and started thinking about tonight. Suddenly, I began to cry and flashed back to the moment I stepped into Scott's funeral. I lost it as soon as I walked into the tabernacle! As I thought back to that today, I panicked! I thought "I can't do this. What was I thinking signing up to pray at Relay for Life only a few months after his passing?" So, I am asking for prayers....there are only a few people who read my blog...so, if you're reading it today....please pray for me. Pray that I won't go out there and become a blubbering idiot....that I will be able to put my own pain aside and pray for these dear people who are still fighting the battle against cancer.

And pray for the survivors...and the friends and family of those who weren't so lucky....and the volunteers who will be out there praying for all of them. Pray that God will give us compassion and love towards each person we come into contact with. Pray that unsaved people would "see Jesus" in us.

I am hoping that tonight will be another step in the grieving process of accepting that our brother is gone from our sight...for a little while. This blog is also really helping me to grieve for Scott and "get out" some of the hurt. Writing about him....whatever I want to write...whenever I want to write it....as long or short or disjointed/confusing as I want to write :)....helps a lot. As I said, not many people read this blog, so it's really just a place for me to work through the hurt. I have a hard time putting things into words a lot of times, but I can write about them and get them out. I miss you, my friend. I look forward to serving God through serving people, just like you always did. Your legacy continues on in me...and so many others.